>>> Be careful with those space heaters and try not to choke on any cocktail weiners, because EMS and Fire Department response times are longer than the standard nine minutes, according to audits from the Philadelphia Controller’s Office. In all honesty, though, no time is soon enough and we’re sure they’d like to save your ass as quickly as they could. Can you ever really beat time? They’re not super heroes, but they’re all we’ve got. Stop tellin’ em that their dicks are too small. [NBC10]
>>> And keep in touch, Street. After your time is done, you’ll walk away with $500,000. What a swell thing for you. You’ll go down in Philly books as the iPhone Mayor Who Boasted About His Pension. And you’re thanking us? Don’t mention it. [Philly.com]
>>>Was one of the 3900 paychecks that went missing in the mail for school district employees yours? Tough shit. It’s the mail. It’s the holidays. It’s like 1907 in there. We remember when Miss Nelson went missing, and everything ended okay. [KYW]

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 20th, 2007 at 11:14 am.