We’ll tell you this: Though we have tons of friends, enemies and frienemies in the media world, nothing can really top the ridiculousness of the people we’ve met in broadcast TV news. Nothing — not even the Inky/Daily News people, hemmed in by antiquated guilds and God knows what else. With a few notable exceptions — what’s up, TV’s John Atwater? — the TV news people we’ve met are generally uncool leatherfaced freaks who uniformly seem to be missing their pageant moms, somewhere off in the distance. Their morality, their belief systems about what the news is/should be and their hair are completely horrifying to us in every way. However, as you would imagine, there are a few straight shooters out there, just like there is in any other likewise fucked field. And we know one. On condition of anonymity, our friend laid out how this whole Alycia Lane thing will most likely play out in the TV news biz… after the jump.

OK, so as someone who’s spent a few years in the strange world of Philly broadcasting, first off, I’m just curious to hear your thoughts about this in a general sense.

She certainly is racking up a lot of bad publicity over the years… but because she is so effing hot, she has good shot of keeping her gig. TV is desperate to have hot anchors on air; hotness often equals ratings. Fox network tv only hires hotties, for example; journalistic background plays sencond fiddle to hotness and as long as they can read a teleprompter. This all could help Booker, tho.

You’re actually getting at something I’ve been thinking for a while: At what point does TV news, which is now so obviously devalued and untrustable in every way, make the move to make its own personalities into that which is more like the ones they cover? In other words, why not have, say, Fox produce its OWN Paris Hilton-type trainwreck? So does this actually RAISE her stock?

Not yet… but maybe soon. Local TV news is not only losing cred, but the revenue and ratings are on a death spiral. Your idea may be entertained someday soon. I understand what you are saying, though. Plus, if this happended to a guy anchor, he would be gone. If alicia was non-hot, she would be gone too. CBS is so desprate, they will look forward to the SPIKE in ratings. But the bigger question is, why would alicia act this way ? Hot, young anchor chicks are in huge demand. They kiss her ass. She has lost touch with reality.

Which leads me to my next question: Will CBS3, which oddly in particular has a recent history of running strangely prudish, holier-than-thou stories (see the Club Kama Sutra thing from last year, etc.), be forced to give her the axe, even as much as they desperately need those ratings?

Really depends on the details of the police report. CBS HOPES they can keep her, and she is still on website as of today. My bet is that she stays for now: She is the hottest anchor chick in town, next to Bolaris.

Haha. Do you think Bolaris, who’s gearing up for big new year at Fox29, is sitting in his cubicle right now going, “Fuck, I need to compete. Better get my ass to Denim for some sportfucking STAT.”

[Expert inserts AIM smiley face.]

A smiley face is not an answer, pal.

But i think he is gonna focus on being a weather PRO….to make up for his whole Storm of the Century debacle.

OK, so your prognosis overall is: Unless there’s something especially foul to come out of this — like, say, God forbid, she was on coke or something — CBS3 will in all likelihood keep her on, and desperate bitches that they are, actually be psyched for the windfall when she comes back?

Yes.

Kinda makes you wish for the warmer, sweeter climes of Dorothy Krysiuk, no?

She was the nicest, most honest TV chick i have ever met.

I totally heart her.

Sherri-Lee was cool too. Rough biz, tho.

Sounds like it!

Once they hit 40… they are done.

And how old is Lane?

38? Not sure. She is a AILF, though.

A.I.L.F?

Anchor I’d like to fuck.

Hahaha. Oh man. And on that note, I must leave you. Thank you for your time and insight.

C -ya!

This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2007 at 3:59 pm.