Holy shit, Lenny Dykstra on Philebrity two days in a row! As many of you may well know by now, the Mitchell Report — Major League Baseball‘s investigation into steroid use — was released this morning, and The Dude was at the top of the list. Not a shocking development, of course, as it’s widely known that Dykstra was made from spare toaster parts in the 1970s and thus, engineering him for traditional human intelligence was not a paramount concern. (Once again, he’s pictured here eating razorblade jerky.) But Dykstra is not the only former Phil named in the report. Also juiced, or named in the “runners-up” list of players who may have purchased ‘roids on the Web: Todd Pratt, Ryan Franklin, Gary Bennett Jr., David Bell, Paul Byrd, Jason Grimsley and Bobby Estalella. All in all, besides the Dude, we’re not talking about guys who were ever stars on the Phils, just rank-and-file dolts stupid enough to get caught. Philly’s never been much of a juicing town — the fans would never stand for it — and frankly, we’re much more upset, A LOT MORE, about losing Aaron Rowand to the Giants just yesterday. Now that really hurts.
Deadspin: Making That List, Checkin’ It Twice
Previously: Lenny Dykstra Launches Magazine Directed At Fools And Their Money (Pro Division)

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 4:50 pm.