Yo yo yo, remember this guy??? This was the motherfucking GUY, people! Back in the day, Lenny Dykstra aka “The Dude” aka “Nails,” alongside John Kruk, pretty much defined the whole salty-modern-day-redneck-in-baseball thing. You think Brett Myers is a Skoal-poppin’ dick? These guys were the O.G. dicks, and they did it in ways that endeared them even to chronic redneck haters like yours truly. And after their influence seeped out from baseball into the world at large — we’ll always contend that without Dykstra/Kruk, there never would have been that whole Blue Collar Comedy phenom — we gotta say, it’s great to see these guys finally coming out on top. Kruk, as you may know, is now a regular talking head on ESPN, and Dykstra (shown here apparently trying to eat two metal Hot Wheels and a box of paper clips) is turning into the Richard Branson of ball-scratching. He’s about to launch Players Club, a magazine directed specifically at professional athletes. It’ll cover things like how not to get fucked, what to do with all that dough and presumably, things like advice on mullet-growing, how to deal with the awkwardness of knowing that Pat Burrell fucked your wife in the St. Petersberg, FL Fuddruckers (he totally did), and new trends in telling Jesus in sign language that you are grateful for this home run/touchdown/Ultimate Fighting championship. Dude, sign us up.
NYPost: Don’t Hate The Player

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 12th, 2007 at 4:58 pm.