· The Jitterbug: “Easy, Big Button Cell Phones For Seniors,” or the Ecstacy casualty in your life.
· The Nabaztag, the world’s first wifi rabbit that you can train to say the filthiest stuff imaginable.
· A Ron Paul tee for toddlers, courtesy Cafe Press.
· A perennial favorite: The “Pete Doherty Is Innocent” t-shirt.
· Year of the [...]

Name: The Reaper
Available at: Trax Food Market, Front & Girard, open 24 hours.
What it is: Apparently, The Reaper is a soft pretzel that’s been sliced in half — horizontally — and refurbed with a few slices of ham and cheese in the middle, put back together, then warmed up again so that the cheese melts. [...]

Apparently, the most offensive thing about Philadelphia Weekly’s Holiday Guide issue a couple weeks back was not that it hit streets in mid-November and played heartily into Daniel McQuade’s puppyfucking fetish. No, dear readers, it was the image of a hamster dressed up as an Orthodox Jew on the cover that some extrapolated offense from, [...]

>>> Evening Bulletin, we’ve got bad news for you: Your credibility at this point is so suspect that we’re even doubting this seemingly reasonable piece about how everyone outside Philly thinks moving the Barnes Foundation is a travesty motivated by the personal gains of a few. How this plugs into your bizarre Ron Paul-esque, get-the-hell-off-my-lawn [...]

· On philebrity.tv: Chatting with Todd Haynes about I’m Not There.
· The 4:20 That Was Not There: Talk The Talk With Tim Furlong
· Dropping like flies, Philly-style.
· Popped Fest: Brought to you in 2008 by Mother Catherine Drexel.
· On philebrity.tv: Shawn Kilroy takes a walk around the neighborhood.
· All your GooglePhone are belong to us.
Philebrity [...]

WEDNESDAY:
>>> “The Biggest Drinking Night Of The Year,” while once the barman’s secret, has evolved in recent years to a harsh societal pressure to see who can re-connect with old friends, old times the most. It is Nostalgia as Sport. But who cares? We love it anyway. [click.] at the freshly re-opened Barbary owns this [...]

A Wookified classic.

Allow me, if you will, to deviate for a bit from our 215-centric fireside chats and scale up to the broad subject of the American sports psyche.

After the jump, Michael Fichman lets you see the windmills of his mind.

PRNewswire: Unless, Of Course, You Can Segway To Your Mom’s
UPDATE: PennDOT Picks Today For “Emergency” Repairs to I95

>>> Hey! Everybody’s got that Thanksgiving spirit! But I wish to hell Philly.com didn’t look like a sad Turkey Day paper placemat at the Roosevelt Blvd. Friendly’s. Oh the pathos. The hot, steaming pathos. Hey, you need that gravy boat?
>>> Wait, wait, don’t tell me who won the Philadelphia Dog Show on Sunday — I [...]

>>> We’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about Heima, the Sigur Ros/commercial-for-Iceland doc that’s playing for free at the International House tonight. 8pm.
>>> Meanwhile, there’s a solid bill all-around with Malajube/The Cobbs/Aunt Dracula at Johnny Brenda’s. That’s two Philebrity Player alumns in one show!
>>> And please do not front on Shonen Knife, who have affected [...]

Well, maybe 2.0 is a stretch — possibly 1.5’s? Either way, we’re hearing a lot these days about secondary web and print pubs falling upon hard times. Sure, our readers who work at either of the city’s alt-weeklies bristle and turn red when we mention that they’re consistently showing less profits and readership, but [...]

>>> Nominees for the Plug Awards — quite possibly the most “meh” music awards in the galaxy — were announced last week, and you hardly noticed. That’s OK, they hardly noticed you too, Philadelphia, snubbing all the bands you might have thought Plugworthy (Dr. Dog, Man Man, etc.) but they did give special notice to [...]

DN: CONGRATZ JIMMY! AND THANK YOU!

But we won’t tell anyone that you went out. Here is where you’re going:
While your tights collection has been growing, your designer denim inventory awaits some attention. Denim Society’s Holiday Blowout Sale gives you 40% off select denim and 20% off new styles Wed. thru Sat., and you’ll probably be a size bigger by then. [...]

Philly’s own Freeway, the rapper that launched a thousand neckbeards, is back after four years between records. See two other new clips by Freeway at Nah Right. [via Pitchfork]

>>> The Irish Pub & Inn in Atlantic City are suing PhillyMag after one of its writers described the I.P. as a “dive.” Lame, of course, but not nearly as lame as the following exchange:
Asked for comment, Larry Platt, Philly Mag editor and A.C. Now’s editorial director, said: “This is a case of a place [...]

It may be his name on the marquee, but Mr. Marmalade doesn’t get all that much face time in Noah Haidle’s play. He’s busy, see. Dude’s got a hectic schedule and a burgeoning coke problem, making him disappointingly absentee for an imaginary friend. Lucy, the play’s steely 4-year-old protagonist, puts up with his deterioration [...]

>>> Nutter is to Rendell as Kanye is to Jay-Z. Discuss. [DN]
>>> If a John McCain flies into Philadelphia and tells stories about how he forgave Jerry Falwell but there’s nobody there to hear it, did it really happen? [AP]
>>> The Northeast, some of you may know, has its own rites of passage. There’s My [...]