Hyperspace Clusterfuck: Special Gay Boy Scout Edition
Any savvy student of media, the long tail and good ‘ol redneck outrage could have seen it coming: How the City of Philadelphia’s rent hike to the Boy Scouts of America would become a national talking point for people whom you absolutely do not want to hear talk. At issue, of course, is the BSA’s reluctance to get with the times and allow homosexuals within their ranks or acknowledge what Philebrity casually estimates as the hundreds of thousands of homos already there. Just like the Catholic church. (We were Webelos, we would know.) Instead, the only thing the rent hike has fueled is shit like this:
I own a house near Audubon, next to Vally Forge, and I would welcome a move by the Boy Scouts back to Valley Forge, where all of the Jamborees used to take place …. before the homos declared war on decency, and people who do not believe in the Homo/gay lifestyle members leading and teaching their male children.
Well, that, and KYW’s specially-made Gay Rent Flap logo, superimposed over our own hyperspace c-bang logo at right. Most distressing of all, though? Even though it took a few beats for all of this to work its way Larry the Cable Guy and the Tater’s routines, the emails to City Hall are pouring in fast and furious, making Franny Rizzo work all day and nearly crippling the City in the process. All of which proposes the question: If 3,000 overcompensating hicks can bring the City to its knees, don’t you think they could at least have the courtesy of letting us give them a fucking blowjob already? Sheez.
October 29th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Man, I loved being a Weblo: You could look like a South American general in no time flat just for fixing up a plate of eggs. The Weblo uniform was the best: navy blue accented with primaries. Quit before Boy Scouts–I had enough going against me, and besides, the dun/red colors in the BSA uniform were unflattering.
Quit my peewee league baseball team because the uniform was green and yellow. With my complexion? I think not.
(Jeezus, I was a gay, gay little boy.)
October 29th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I was an Eagle scout and only wish I had a positive gay male influence while I was in the fine organization. Afterall, it’s where I lost my virginity.
October 29th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
As a former Cub Scout, I still envy any young man who can do the knee-on-elbow stand.
October 29th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
I think that bulletin board made my brain bleed.
although we will apparently be known henceforth as “the city of buggerly love.”