We are going to spell Club Lyfestile likea zis. Nothing else will be accepted. Please don’t talk to me about them if you can’t handle that much. Also, when a robot-vocoder voice implores you to clear the dancefloor, do it…

Straight from the Department Of Shit We Couldn’t Make Up: KFC has publicly invited Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony to host an after-party at a KFC location near each of the 13 venues on their big En Concierto tour, which kicks off next weekend in Atlantic City. Why? Because, as KFC President (and self-professed J [...]

PHILLIES DIVISION 26. Dick Allen, Philadelphia Phillies and elsewhere: The Albert Belle of his era, Allen was a fearsome power hitter who was still hated in Philly. Some of the abuse, including a stream of racial epithets from fans, was unwarranted. But Allen often came across as immature and selfish: He once missed a doubleheader [...]

>>> Pull up your beanbag chair because we have the premiere episode of Tripping Balls With Brother JT where JT rides the light fantastic with Philly psych rockers Asteriod #4. Watching this feels like being in a lava lamp. Whoa. >>> Collateral News examines how a B-52 flew from Minot AFB to Barksdale AFB carrying [...]

Penn just got a step closer to not-so-evilness by bringing in somewhat eco-friendly washers and dryers for students. Of course, in some more conscious countries — say, Australia — most everyone hangs their laundry out to dry, doing away with the wastefulness of dryers altogether. Some of us here at Philebrity even wash our clothes [...]

In a town where art is either stolen by bargoers or feds, crossing the street to see a recently exhumed wealth of art doesn’t seem unfair. But when it’s a 10-minute walk (in Inky time, but that includes asking a statue for its blessing) in which you risk life and limb, well, that’s just Philly [...]

>>> CP has a nice feature on Spaceboy alum Mike Quinn and his label No Quarter, in honor of his bringing Finland’s Circle to town tomorrow. It doesn’t, however, mention that classic Pluxus/Fridge split Quinn was behind. That thing still sounds space-age today. >>> Enon‘s John Schmersal defies Gawker and gushes about Philly. “Now that [...]

>>> Our good friend Kyle M hosts Tramp at L’Etage. See flyer. >>> Super Furries deity Gruff Rhys hits Johnny Brenda’s with All Smiles, which is Jim Fairchild from Grandaddy. >> The mighty K Mass launches his long-awaited Jet Set Stereo EP with a big free bash at Silk City. Good on ya. >>> The [...]

A small audience has gathered at 2:15 on a recent Sunday morning as [Conor Walsh], returning from a night of drinking at off-campus parties, urinates all over the statue of Penn’s beloved founder. Somehow this doesn’t surprise us. What does is a loooong story on it, in which future captains of industry get almost teary-eyed [...]

We don’t know if there’s been a more controversial indie rock band of the last decade than Animal Collective. Ring up any record geek you know and you’ll quickly find that party lines are drawn boldly and with vitriol: Animal Collective are pretentious twats, Animal Collective are geniuses and I will follow them to the [...]

The rock-inspired art currently up at a just-renovated M Room took a hit this past weekend when thieves decided to take two pieces home with them. (This isn’t the first time art has gone missing from those walls.) The mixed-media pieces in question, created by local artist/musician Joe “Real Job Joe” Morris (playing in Daymaker [...]

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but either way, it really doesn’t matter if you look like a schmuck. After the jump, Michael Fichman goes all Encyclopedia Brown on Our Uniforms, Our Psyches, Ourselves.

Mr. Tad Decker is not a member of any host committee for any Nutter for Mayor fundraisers. When we learned that his name had been added to a host committee by a few supporters, Michael asked that he be removed, and he was. In this primary election, Michael completely adhered to the City’s campaign finance [...]

It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day, and you could feasibly get your kicks by rounding up all of the wee buccaneers you know, dress ‘em up in swashbuckling attire, and act like you’re not excited that all of you will get in free at Independence Seaport Museum’s Talk Like A Pirate Movie Night. Or you [...]

In between covering bikini contests and abusing the power of capital letters, the ‘burbs-focused alt-weekly Philly EDGE has compiled a list of 10 Delaware Valley Bands You Need To Hear NOW. Despite the presence of Downtown Harvest (left) and a “Morrisville emcee,” they shine a light on a lot of promising folks (Drink Up Buttercup, [...]

That’s right, the wounds of Presslergate still sting. The latest manifestation comes after reps from our city tried to entice some of NYC’s gay population by promising “an exciting cosmopolitan lifestyle with great entertainment and dining options, but at a less hectic pace.” Gawker‘s zinger of a reply: Um. AS. IF. Geez, guys, hope you [...]

>>> Collateral News investigates how a B-52 flew from Minot AFB to Barksdale AFB carrying live nuclear warheads. Was it just some huge mistake? Collateral takes a look at the facts. Tune in and get informed! >>> Clips We Love bros down with Philly’s dj/artist and all around awesome dude Andrew Jeffrey Wright. >>> On [...]

Tales of off-the-books lobbying arise fairly often, usually brought to light by someone — in this case, ranking GOP Sen. Jeff Piccola — with a personal interest in taking down the pol at the center of it — in this case, Fast Eddie. But what’s fascinating here is the pulp spin being put on it. [...]

>>> Ron Sexsmith, who’s always been 10% cheesy but 90% amazing, opens for the legendary Nick Lowe (right), who shouldn’t need an introduction. Dust off your Teenage Kicks comp, cross the river for once, and see how gracefully our man has aged. At World Café Live. >>> Cheers Elephant, part of the growing pack of [...]

>>> A clothing boutique has stumbled onto the Espers look (left). Attention Greg Weeks: Round up these models and sign them all to Language Of Stone before the launch party Saturday. [Free People] >>> The small Jersey burg of Riverside just killed an (unenforced) anti-illegal immigration ordinance after only a year on the books. Not [...]