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Great Moments In Batshit: Steve Jobs, O.J. Simpson, MOVE, And The Wonderful World Of Jonathan Lee Riches

jonanthan lee richesPardon us for not noticing earlier the deep, abididing genius of West Chester native Jonathan Lee Riches, currently doing federal time in Salters, SC for identity theft. But that’s not why we’re writing about him today; rather, since his incarceration, Riches has become something of a web phenom for filing technicolor lawsuits against everyone from George W. Bush to Dane Cook to Pizza Hut (actually, those were all part of the same lawsuit). Checking out his Wikipedia page, Riches’ lawsuits are a kind of zeitgeist barometer; if it’s out there and on the radar, Riches is presumably considering taking legal action. His latest suit? Filed on September 21, Riches V. O.J. Simpson & Steve Jobs alleges the following:

  • Steve Jobs is currently in the process of planning a secret release for O.J. so that O.J. can come to Salters and “radio wave warp” Riches because he’s in possession of some old O.J. football cards.
  • Riches’ initial beef with Jobs is over intellectual property; Riches believes Jobs has stolen his ideas and for some reason, Apple is financially supporting O.J.
  • This one we’ll just quote directly: “O.J. Simpson has been Steve Jobs’ hitman since the 1985 MOVE bombing in Philadelphia which Jobs started with borrowed pyrotechnics from Great White.” Yes, the band. We think.

    • If we go on, we’d be here all day, but by all means, peruse the links below. And if perchance you have any correspondence with Riches, send him our love and the following message: You’re blowing our minds, baby, and we’re loving every minute of it.
    AppleInsider: Steve Jobs And Great White, The Hidden Conspiracy
    Wikipedia: Jonathan Lee Riches, Demented Genius

    This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 26th, 2007 at 11:23 am.

    One Response to “Great Moments In Batshit: Steve Jobs, O.J. Simpson, MOVE, And The Wonderful World Of Jonathan Lee Riches”

    1. bhoward Says:
      September 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am

      Propers!
      Propers!

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