SPECIAL TO PHILEBRITY: When we heard that our pal Ryan Creed, along with Thom Lessner and Rose Luardo of the band Sweatheart, had been selected for an episode of perennial cable classic Trading Spaces, our brains nearly melted. People this cool (or thin) just usually aren’t on this show. And given Sweatheart’s penchant for the absurd, God only knows what that room is gonna wind up looking like. Production is underway as we speak, and we’ve been lucky enough to tap Ryan Creed from dispatches from the set. After the jump, Ryan’s second day with Trading Spaces.

At the end of day 1, I discovered my undying love of Goil, I became well-versed in the OTF interview (On The Fly), and I learned that when it comes to home repair, I’m better off just standing to the side and looking pretty. Here’s what I have to report on day 2.

1. A dark cloud of fatigue and uncertainly hovers over Rose and Thom’s house. My roommate and I begin to fight – like, actually fight – about the quality of our room. I believe the question “Do you even know who Jonathan Adler is?” was uttered. I noticed that my collar is still miked and I turned around to see a camera directly behind me. That’s reality TV, folks.

2. I began to warm up to our staunchly anti-MTV carpenter Brandon after he tells me that he was “The Lifeguard” on Guiding Light.

3. After a “craft project” went awry and looked too amateurish, I demanded to go buy new furniture using my own money. It was a hipster episode so I thought it would be funny to be a freeloader and pay for it with my mom’s “just in case” credit card. A production assistant drove me to Uhuru on Spruce Street, ran a red light, and slammed headfirst into another car. Given that this is Philly and the likelihood that the driver was a panhandling oxy-head with a penchant for insurance fraud was pretty high, I was surprised to see an upper class professional who wanted to handle the situation “like gentlemen,” which I think was his nice way of saying “Just give me your insurance information; I’m too rich to put up with this bullshit.”

4. As far as Trading Spaces gossip, the juiciest bit I pulled from the crew was a story about Hilde freaking out at a cab driver who was late to pick her up. Otherwise, there’s nothing but love for her, Paige, Genevieve, and Frank.

5. I walked upstairs to find our designer, Lauren, going through Thom’s art collection. There was a Jim Houser skateboard and three Daniel Johnston paintings thrown on the ground, and the crew was carelessly stomping around them. I had a mild freak-out and screamed “Watch out! Those are expensive!!!” thus avoiding disaster. The crew was shocked because they thought the art was made by a child.

6. Lauren wanted to use Thom’s art in the room, but we ran into two problems. First, we were discouraged to use any picture whose ownership was unknown because of copyright issues. “Treat every painting like the Mona Lisa,” said our producer, which would have been a good analogy if the Mona Lisa wasn’t in the public domain. So it became “Treat every painting like a Thomas Kinkade.” Second, much of Thom’s art involved boobies and crotch shots, which are apparently not “TLC friendly.” Whatever.

7. So the “Big Reveal” is more stressful than you would think. The crew tells you throughout the shoot that this is the most important part of the show, and they are really pushing hard for man tears. “Don’t hold back,” said the cameraman. “We want your honest reaction.” I looked back at him and said stoically before going into the house, “I love Goil, and I don’t just love anyone.”

8. After the shoot I got further confirmation that Goil and I are soulmates when I saw that he has the John Varvatos line of Jack Purcell shoes JUST LIKE ME. I resolved to friendship stalk him just like I did these girls, and I pushed really hard to get his phone number. I succeeded, and the following day, Rose and I had drinks with Goil and his partner Tom, who is just as awesome as my little pocket dandy. They own a design firm together – TUG Studio (plug!) – and while he doesn’t look exactly like an anglo version of Goil, the resemblance is close enough. When we all departed, a man came up to Goil and referenced Goil’s breakdown on Top Design. “When you cried, I cried.”

And with that our Trading Spaces experience ended. The air date is December 1st.
Previously: Dispatches From Trading Spaces: Day 1

This entry was posted on Monday, September 24th, 2007 at 11:01 am.