FEELING THIS AUTUMN THING?

That is, in our opinion, the worst yet. The lack of seriousness or journalistic integrity displayed in rampant pastry and PBR intake and unintelligible “shittawken” is contributing nothing to the already sullied reputation of Philadelphia’s least favorite team of vapid hipsters.

*NOTE:
We have been informed, by our internal sources, that the last comment may have been il-informed. We have recently been corrected that the staff, which includes several vapid hipsters, also includes several sycophants and a flip-top head full of horse teeth–as well as a large red circle.

We regret to inform you that your thong is showing and you smell like Fritos. We, including our staff, have been lurking near your Northern headquarters and can’t get the smell of tacos and large oil refineries from our nasal passages.