LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STAY WITH PHILEBRITY ALL DAY TOMORROW FOR EXTENDED PHILS COVERAGE.

FRIDAY: >>> You know, this Philebrity weekend picks shit is a brutal, unmerciful science: No matter how hard we try, we’re always sending you to Johnny Brenda’s, or [click.], or one of the other five places that always end up in the pole position. We try to spread the love around, honest we do. And [...]

What’s all natural, cheaper than coke, and the new kid on the block in Philly? Catha edulis, or khat, for you non-Latin-speaking, abbreviatin’ fools out there. Let’s skip the obvious LOLcats wisecrack here and instead apply our energies towards locating the latest drug on the streets. Then we’ll Cap’n Freeshit a select amount, and use [...]

Okkervil River‘s had us since “It Ends With A Fall,” though we were latecomers compared to those already obsessed with “Kansas City.” Yeah, we’re talking about songs instead of albums, but that’s not to say the albums — Don’t Fall In Love With Everyone You See, Down The River Of Golden Dreams, Black Sheep Boy, [...]

>>> Philebrity News returns with Patricio at the helm. They clock in with a report about the shit that went down at Bobo’s Art Gallery on S. 9th Street. Did y’all hear about this? The art gallery had a storefront display of photocopied dollar bills which irked The Feds, who came out and confiscated the [...]

Bored, and rain’s got me in a pissy mood. I see the romanticized moron movie Into the Wild is being released this weekend. Discuss: How many West Philly and N. Libs / Fishtown trustafarians, and/or truly strapped struggling artists will “get” this film, leading to a rash of Philly hipster deaths in the Alaskan and [...]

Oh snap. OK Philadelphia; The Phightin’s need you now more than ever. Get on your Photoshop and let the LOLMet spirit move you: If you’ve got a LOLMet — or a LolNutter or a LOLFumo — send ‘em to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com. Related: The700Level: Phils Tied For First Place For The First Time Since The Abolishment Of [...]

“Well, mate, let me tell you: Your arm doesn’t stink half as much as Stephen Colbert’s.” · Bono swings into down, recites list of all the things America gave the world (citing Philly specifically for Will Smith, without whom the world would presumably be that much emptier of a place) and then lays in: Today [...]

“If the world does not forgive this man,” said Bono before a throng of reporters, “we may just go off and ruin the whole next Mary J. Blige album.”

>>> As mentioned earlier, GO PHILS. Dr. Dog sings the national anthem, Team Philebs downs $8 beers, everybody wins and the Braves represent everything foul in this dilapidated nation. We hope. Get down to South Philly and let a scalper guide you to your victory place. >>> Speaking of victory places, Bono webcast at 7pm. [...]

Just about five minutes ago, we debuted Episode One of our second season with Mark & Audrey of Cheap Dates. But there’s some surprises in store! For their second season, Cheap Dates has morphed into a show called Illadates. Same premise — the charming couple explore every neighborhood they can each Thursday — but with [...]

Note: We have dispatched a video crew. We must have record of this one perfect place in time. Previously: This Just In: Love Park Fountain To Be Doused With Fake Blood In Clever Yet Depressing Promotional Excercise

Good Lord, sometimes it seems like Patrick Wolf is something we just made up after watching Velvet Goldmine one time too many. But oh no. The Wolf is very real, down to his highbrow English music theory school creds and completely over-the-top feather vibe. He is, of course playing at the North Star this Sunday [...]

You want to be king of the wild things. Max, Jonah, you over there in the wolf suit, or its 2007 equivalent, the glow stick tee. As the forest grows, know nonchalance. The wild rumpus is at your bedside. And every seemingly mythical creature you encounter will be quite easily tamed. As long as we’re [...]

This is like a Wes Anderson adaptation of a Mark Twain story crossed with one of Conan‘s Year 2000 skits: There are plans, with funding behind them no less, for a swimming pool that would float via our city’s iconic rivers. Like a big kiddie pool, but IN THE RIVER. Of all the crackpot schemes [...]

A reader writes: It seems that Comcast sent an email to all its corporate employees telling them that the moving date to the new building is early November. The moving men will only be responsible for moving “Official” Comcast material. Everyone must remove their personal items from the premises begining the first week in October [...]

· Yes, yes, you can in fact try foie gras for five dollars, but why bother when you can get this delicious sampling of asshole for free? Is it just us, or does this totally put-upon press release from Philadelphia Chefs for Choice sound just like the faux neo-con “war on Christmas,” or what? Sure, [...]

If SEPTA wasn’t a few hours away from recommending a fare increase at this afternoon’s board meeting, we’d almost believe they cared about how those 400 hybrid buses they’re buying will positively impact the environment. However, we know this tricky bitch well, and their purchase of a fuel-efficient fleet comes at a time when they [...]

>>> A gentle reminder: Dr. Dog will be singing the national anthem at the Phils game tonight. Tickets are still available, but we had to go on StubHub to get anything decent. More on this forthcoming. GO PHILS! [NYT] >>> Drag City hearts Philly. How much? Enough to release The Valerie Project‘s official soundtrack recording [...]

Today, Thursday, September 27th Love Park is RED for Showtime’s hit show, Dexter. Great photo opp. The fountain will be red until 6pm. Lots of workers in lab coats giving out free Dexter swag all day long. Wait a minute: You can’t fucking skateboard in Love Park anymore, but for the right price, you can [...]