Michael Fichman reports: I call bullshit. Cole Hamels hurts his elbow and is expected to miss at least two starts…. and the moans of “season over” begin to waft through the air.
This effectively means the Phils’ season has ended three times: Once for their pitiful start out of the gate, once for Ultey’s hand injury [...]

>>> It is a quality, quality night in Philadelphia tonight, and at the risk of, you know, telling you what to do, we’d like to do just that. From 7-9pm, hit up Philadelphia Weekly’s Concerts In The Park in Rittenhouse Square (you know where that is, right?) for Man Man and Favourite Sons. Now, a [...]

… the first thing you’d think to yourself would also be, “I’m gonna show this woman my cock.”
NBC10: On The Plus Side, He Does Get Points For Saying “This Is What I Think Of TV News”

The music of today is almost entirely useless in assisting you in getting laid: Indie rockers either hate or are freaked out by sex, R. Kelly has lost his mind (even on record) to the point where he’s been stripped of his powers, jazz apparently doesn’t even exist anymore and everything else just sounds like [...]

· You know how you can go through entire relationships and never truly decide whether you think the other person is totally beguiling or just utterly repulsive? This is how we felt last year — and to be sure, how we will feel this year — about ladies’ high-waisted jeans. We just got the memo [...]

Stereo Total bears the unique distinction of being one of the only bands of the late-90s Big Beat boom that we still listen to, and this cannot be for any reason other than, electronics aside, at heart they are a punk band. Simple tunes, simple playing, weird sexual vibes… Stereo Total are not that different [...]

Back in June, we reported on the dickhurt-war between Alex Plotkin of Chops restuarant and Inky food critic Craig LaBan. It’s a tale of bruised ego and braised shortribs, and if you liked the movie, read the book: Today, PhillyMag posted Steve Volk’s big story on how Plotkin is using the legal system to unmask [...]

>>> Collateral News examines the current economic crisis and what it can mean for you. Economic crap can be really confusing but thankfully we have Team Collateral to break it down for us. Tune in and get informed!
>>> Philebrity Live Music has a clip from a recent Spank Rock performance at Silk City. Apparently, he [...]

In case you all at Philebrity wanted to do a blow-by-blow week on the casino report — most recently Foxwoods getting its City Planning Commission, remember this little tidbit: the City Planning Commission (which recommended the plan to City Council [yesterday]) represents a collective zero years of planning experience. Them giving a rubber stamp [...]

>>>Because every homicide counts, a cop that took a bullet over 40 years ago just died because of it. If that’s the case, when will hip-hop finally kick the bucket? We’re not ready to say goodbye. [KYW]
>>>The city’s worst block in West Kenzo gets cover story treatment from P-Dub. Houses there are worth about $13,000 [...]

KYW: We Can’t Give It Back Because We Already Sold It Out From Under You

Make an offer: landmark 1920s-era newspaper building.
Looks like wedding cake.
Gold cap.
Pulitzer plaques not included.

No shit they’re not included, wiseguy. Papyrus doesn’t last that long.
Inky: The First In The Chain Of Stories In Which PMH Gradually, Steadily Moves Itself To Conshohocken
[Photo credit: PhillySkyline]

Not feeling a part of something bigger than yourself, lately? Just remember that our generation is amidst a renaissance of highbrow intellectualism, where the conversation has moved from the streets and onto Craigslist. Like modern day philosophers, we are able to spend a lifetime searching for part-time jobs, making connections with potential muses, [...]

>>> Things we have learned about Daryll Hall in the last hour: His dad was a “male witch,” he believes he’s 90% of Hall & Oates and that Oates is probably OK with that, and he’s suuuuuper-pissed at Rod Stewart for crimes against art and humanity. Also, he apparently knows what Pitchfork is. Mind, be [...]

There was a collective sigh of relief over here when we heard. Or at least the minute sound of an eye-blink as we immediately paid attention to matters more pressing. Because to have the public more concerned about our logo than the content of our posts would just be an affront on good taste.
The winner, [...]

Raise your hand if you can’t recognize Craig LaBan in a restaurant yet. Now go call your friend who works at Buddakan and admit that you’d like some help. Then think about stealing the September Philly Mag from your mom’s house so that you can see for yourself. Or you can do the Google work [...]

You can hear it in the way the guy says “SIHHHLLLVASSSAR SAL-OWN!!!”
TowleRoad: We’re Relieved. Really.
Previously: Serbian Rocky Cult Apparently Totally Serious

The Iggles give Jeremiah Trotter his walking papers. We’re not even gonna front on this one: We have no idea what the fuck it means. Something smells rotten in Denmark, though, so we’ll keep you updated. Unless we get distracted by something shiny. Which we definitely will. Hey, look at it this way, at least [...]

>>>We’re not quite 18, but we still love to grumble about the injustices of the legal drinking age. It’s nice to see that local adolescent lushes are spending less time standing guard at the liquor store entrance, and pushing a petition to lower the age instead. If you tots expect to be taken seriously, [...]

WHEN BEST-SELLING author John Grogan worked upstairs at the Inquirer, people always confused him with Owen Wilson (”Wedding Crashers”).
The poor (but no longer poor) Inky columnist would sit in the cafeteria and people would walk by and say “What’s Jackie Chan like?” “How’s your brother, Luke?” “How’d you break your nose?”
Oh, that zany Inky lunchroom [...]