Hyperspace Clusterfuck: Cheesesteak Wars Pt. II, Electric Boogaloo
OK, it may be a little early for this, so pay attention, because Cheesesteak Wars Part Deux just went positively nuclear. (Or, if you prefer, Mr. President, “new-kew-larr.”) Dan Gross reports today that The Reading Terminal Market has retained the services of one Richard Sprague to do battle with Rick Olivieri of Rick’s Steaks. (You may remember Sprague from H-Diggy Clusterbomb Klassics such as Susanna Foo, How Do You Do? and How Vinni Fumo Got His Groove Back, Or When The Snow Plow Is Not Enuf.) For the uninitiated, this comes on the heels of Olivieri’s unceremonious booting from the Terminal; some say Olivieri wasn’t a team player in the Terminal, but others say he’s being squeezed out because he took Terminal brass to task a little too often. But wait! Before Olivieri is even out the door, it came to light that none other than Tony Luke would be taking over the Rick’s Steaks stall. Back-door dealin’? Or just unfortunate coincidence? Let the barristers decide, guv’ner, but all we know for now is that this is currently the chain of fuckery in this most fatty h-space c-banger:
Pat Olivieri > Rick Olivieri > Reading Terminal > Tony Luke > Dick Sprague
Philadelphia, that is impressive. Never mind that this mess comes on the heels of Rick Olivieri getting into a fracas with some family members over “cheesesteak royalties” at Citizen’s Bank Park last year, and never ever mind that for this to be the greatest episode of The Love Boat ever, we’d still need Joey Vento, Jerry Blavat, Angelo Cataldi and The Ghost Of Daniel Faulkner to enter the frame. What we’re saying is: At this point, it could happen, baby! All of it! Stay tuned!
DN: Mmm, Atza Spicy-A Whiz-A Wit-A!
July 17th, 2007 at 10:22 am
This article contains the best blogspeak to date.
Some 21st century hep cat shit.
July 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
how can you pull from DG’s column and not shine a light on this unique way to pick up women, also from DG’s column:
A woman who called in to Q102 Sunday afternoon hoping to win tickets to Maroon 5′s October concert at the Wachovia Spectrum tells us she was “extremely offended” when the man who answered the phone said she had not won the tickets, but had “won the chance to sit on my face.” The woman, who has won tickets from Q102 before, replied that her husband wouldn’t appreciate that remark and says she was then told: “Your husband is not satisfying you.”
LOL!
July 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am
or the fact that the subhead is “no thanks, she prefers to stand”
July 17th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Did she call The Howard Stern Show by mistake?