For anyone following the proposed ban on quick-release bike tires in Jersey, we think we’ve deciphered the cryptic language of the bill that passed the Assembly last week: If your tires are less than 20 inches, you’re on a kid’s bike and you better get some bolts on that em-effer. If your tires are more than 20 inches, you’re on a big kid’s bike and better get some bolts on that em-effer. Confused? It’s not about knowing what the bill actually says. Instead, it’s the moral superiority you’ll enjoy feeling knowing that you saved the knees of kids everywhere. After all,

“Children riding bicycles with quick release wheels have been involved in over 100 accidents.”

One-Hund-Red. That’s like, half the kill count in Philadelphia. You could support some local bike shop owners by contacting a representative, but we know you’ve got a long and dangerous bike commute to Jersey to worry about. Change the world, Philebrians.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 16th, 2007 at 11:23 am.