In what could be the cutest e-mail exchange since Tom Hanks snagged Meg Ryan over the tubes, PA resident Michael Reynolds is being charged with attempts to blow the shit out of the trans-Alaska pipeline after, oops, collaborating with an FBI operative. That operative, Shannen Rossmiller, scoured forums looking for potential terrorists and was woo’d by some of the hottest pick-up lines to come out of Scranton:

“Let the sheik know my missions have never failed,” Reynolds wrote to Rossmiller. “I have done this … in … other countries.”

Keep it under control ladies, cos you’ll soon be swooning after hearing how Reynolds and his lawyers rep’d in the courtroom. Apparently, do-gooder Reynolds was also looking for thems U.S. hatin’ terrists, and the two just “bumped into each other” by coincidence.
Of course, Reynolds lost a ‘lil credibility when he tried to accept a $40,000 gift from al-Qaeda, but don’t let that sway your crush. He just needed the money to pay off the $5,000 in back child-support he owes to his ex-wife. Sexytime.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 at 2:33 pm.