Exclusionary Craigslist Ad Would Shut Out Yippies, Pharrell And Turtle From Entourage From Waitstaff Job
Experienced Servers Wanted
Reply to: see below
Date: 2007-06-25, 10:55PM EDTNow hiring experienced servers. Please do not apply if you like timbos and jerzees. Please do not apply if you say yoyoyo. Please do not apply if you can’t wait for the new Jordans to come out. Please do not apply if you need off for the Dave concert. Do not apply if you need the 4th of July off, we are very busy that day and your going to make some money if we hire you. Please do not apply if you have been fired from every job you’ve ever had. Please do not apply if you have no goals for your future. Please do not apply if you are going to call out of work, ever. Please do apply if you want to average over $600.00 a week in tips. Please apply if you love your family. Please apply if your not going to spread your non-conformist views to all of the staff at our restaurant. Please apply if your a team player. Please apply if your a good listener. Please apply if you don’t like getting yelled at by your managers. Please apply if your a good person who cares about others. GET THE POINT? Call the following number after 12:00pm on Tuesday the 26th and leave a brief message and say your name and phone number slowly so we can understand it. Thank you. 267-[REDACTED].
When we first read this, the main takeaway was: NO BLACKS. Subtle, right? But then, the more we read it, we also realized it would exclude: Spank Rock and Amanda Blank (very fond of “yoyoyoyoyo”); sneaker geeks of all races; fans and members of Dave Matthews Band, most likely Dave Matthews himself; anyone with pre-existing, can’t-break 4th of July plans; non-functional alcoholics and drug addicts; nihilists; Ayn Rand; people who know the difference between “your” and “you’re”; non-masochists; and fast talkers. You may ask, after all of this, well, who does that leave? One answer, people:
DOYLE. And lucky for you, Mr. Restauranteur, he’s in need of a job! Interested parties get at us, we have his number.
June 28th, 2007 at 10:32 am
Can I have Doyle’s number? I’d like to uh, go job hunting with him…
June 28th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Oh, this old saw again…didn’t you go on about the dress code for some awful yuppie club a while ago? (As if being hassled by a dork in a ghetto tent is any better than being hassled by a prick in a stripey shirt…)
Yes, the ad is a bit obnoxious, but that’s beside the point; with aspiring Cashman venues, it was ever thus.
But forsooth: Do you actually think their description is code for “black”? As if every single black person you and I know wears Timberlands, cocked ball caps with flat bills, over-sized jerseys and involuntarily intones “Yo yo yo”? That’s a rather demeaning, unsubtle view of blacks in itself, isn’t it? Sort of like saying, “Hey man, lay off–he’s black, he can’t help dressing like a toddler and speaking in monosyllables!” Such a point of view–not to mention its low expectations–carries a whiff of soft racism about it, however well-intended. Besides, it would be hard to refute that, in terms of sheer numbers, a lot more white kids dress and act this way than urban blacks.
This criteria doesn’t seem to be a matter of race; it’s a matter of finding people who can act, speak and dress like adults. They are saying that if you fit their characterization, that those traits should be left at the door before you even apply. Sounds like they are merely asking people to drop one act and adopt another. (And if any “authenticity”-besotted dinosaur out there tries to make the case that “this is who these people are, mang”, I’ll make short work of them: It’s intellectually dishonest metaphysical nonsense, and it is bad religion. Harumph!)
Then there’s the matter that it’s a privately-owned establishment, and they are free to set the tone and terms of employment, and that includes standards of dress, speech and manners; all life-skills worth learning, by the way. Sadly, some people are not held to any kind of standard until they enter the adult/kidult work force, so naturally any standard at all is going to feel to a coddled or ill-bred few like some sort of outrageous violation of the sacrosanct childhood mantra told them from a very young age that they are unique, unimprovable, delicate flowers who should be cherished for their faults. Seems to me that the the arrogance of a restaurant setting the terms for its prospective hires pales in comparison with the arrogance it takes to believe that one should never have to improve themselves. The world is not your mother’s refrigerator, darlings; tuck in that shirt.
I’m sure the restaurant in question wouldn’t hire hairy Souf Jorzy hicks in Foghat tee shirts and torn jeans, either–but the sort of urban hick they describe is far more common in Philly.
And the hipsters? Most of them know better–they’re just lazy and undisciplined when it comes to dress, speech and hygiene, which is–let’s be honest–why many of them went into the arts in the first place. Such an experience will serve them well after they have aged out of the lifestyle. Seen ‘em come, an’ I seen ‘em go; many are called, few are chosen.
Now go out there and be somebody!
June 28th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Please do not apply if you’re a meticulous and articulate fop who publishes screeds against one of philly’s signature sandwiches.
Otherwise, yeh, while those first sentences are similar to a lot of clubs’ dress codes, those descriptors easily apply to the bleached white and blonde Jersey boyz hustling and peddling outside the PATCO stations on 12th and Locust/Spruce at all hours.