Camp Shitalkalot
It sure feels like summer camp up in this joint. Your illustrious white trash gossip hounds hit the road with their salty brand of trailer mix-SPF 5 million, coffee beans, and soy nuts. Dear Conrad went on a hike of his own in search of fame and employment, but promised to send Kels a postcard. It’s not like he’s leaving her for Aniston or prison. Girl blew him a kiss and got out her compass: It was time to capture a fag…
This Shit Is Graham Crackers!
The numbers are in. We get it. 95% of you still ache for Belle & Sebastian. 88% of you who live in the subs worship Panda Bear and showed us your butt cracks as you sat Indian-style at Friday‘s show. And 99% you need a solid dance party pow-wow on a weekly basis.
So Kelly got an email invite to join AARP and cried a little in her popcorn while watching Black Snake Moan. The blend of eye shadow and salty tear was like extra butter. You should try it sometime.
If you’re drunk, don’t try to cross the clusterfuck that is 10th, Reed, and Passyunk. Maybe you want to walk around it or sump’n.
In the war between Philadelphia VS Dance Party, L&I paid Goji a visit on Saturday night and bullied ‘em regarding their license, so your new poon-hunting grounds at Crescendolls is canned this week.
It’s last call for Last Love with Chetana, Darshana & Pearl upstairs at the Khyber tonight. Which means we’re now accepting applications for girl DJs for this session.
DO WANT/DO NOT WANT
Edamame At Parties/Our Moms At Parties
Letting Your Sunglasses Speak For You/Letting Your T-Shirt Speak For You
Kate Working Lights At Johnny Brenda’s/People Trying To Entertain You BC They Think You’ll Be Bored & Talk Greasy On Their Event, Like You’d Really Cut Them A Break
Amish Boys/Euro Boys Who Work Down The Shore
Friendship bracelets/Bonnaroo bracelets that you’re still wearing to show off
Vitamin Water machines/DVD machines in WaWa
Scene Points
DJ Deejay’s brutha Bri scoops up props this week, for hangin’ tough at Married To The Mirror at the M Room on Saturday night. Dude snuck in some Journey for your girl.
Illinois hasn’t played Philly since Popped!, but they were in top form at JB’s, doing shots of Irish Whiskey in between songs and busting eardrums with their banjo.
TrendFucking
Ironic but amazing new hang: Cavanaugh’s River Deck. I keep typing dick there. Jojo describes it as “like that scene in Back To The Future where the guy is like, ‘Hey Chuck! It’s your cousin — MARVIN BERRY? You know that new sound you been looking for? Well LISTEN TO THIS!’” And then they played Sweet Home Alabama VS Country Grammar. Now we don’t know what you folks been doin’ outside of reading this here blog, but get on that shit. Where’s your cut-offs at?!
June 28th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
The 10th and Reed clusterfuck still scares and confuses me after being a South Philly resident for 100 years. There really should be more accidents there, but the natives seem to have it down.
June 28th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Try drunk-biking south through that intersection. Whoa, there, sweetcheeks.
And where are these V.W.V.M.s you speak of? I still haven’t tried Jersey Dan’s DL summer cocktail..