¬? Instant karma.
¬? Jonathan Valania/Hot Kangaroo Pie/your band met someone who really knew how to use a computer.
¬? Estonian hackers were holding it ransom for a burlap sack full of SEPTA tokens.
¬? Y2k bug finally hit.
¬? Hostile takeover attempt by “SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION” resulting in final scene from Reservoir Dogs.
¬? It was a snow day, [...]

¬? Hello, Austin!
¬? Philebrity TV News: A little bit of uh-huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.
¬? New music you can’t hear anywhere else unless your aluminum foil rabbit ears are pointed directly at my man Ramble John’s house in West Philly: RJD2’s The Third Hand.
¬? Tom Knox has a drink.
¬? Philebrity Dept. Of [...]

Previously: The Infotainment Scam

FRIDAY:
>>> Good god, the motherfucking Photon Band! YES! It has been a dog’s age ‚Äî literally ‚Äî since we’ve seen Art Difuria & Co. in action, and if you don’t know, now you do: The Photon Band are like our very own Guided By Voices. Sublime and strange, psych and pop and seriously olllllllld-er than [...]

This guy’s been on my radar for weeks, and I’m finally giving in – he’s the second coming. What he lacks in flamboyance and panache, he more than makes up for in pure, unfettered retardation. I know that word gets bandied about quite a bit in these parts, but seriously, this guy looks like a [...]

Alexis K. Lerro reports: I found out at about 5:55 last that I was going to be judging the Philly Car Share’s Philly Sound Clash ‚Äî their battle of the bands ‚Äî at World Caf?© Live at 7. Luckily, I had just gotten a haircut and was now looking like Chynna Phillips circa 1991, so [...]

From the late ’80s through 1997, Joseph A. Gervasi, his brother Bull and some friends headed up something called The Cabbage Collective ‚Äî a loose group of young hardcore/all-ages promoters who’d put on shows wherever they could. As often as not, this meant places like The Harwan Theatre in South Jersey and Stalag 13 in [...]

Yes.

¬? We’re happy to announce that Videophile is launching on Monday! Do you have the latest version of Flash?
¬? You loved us on MySpace; now rock with us on Mog.
¬? Last chance for Half-Cocked tickets!
¬? Likewise, last chance to vote in this week’s Fuck, Marry, Kill poll: Polec, Fox or NBC 10? Well, which is [...]

On view as part of Black Floor’s portion of the ICA’s “Locally Localized Gravity,” through March 25th. To enlarge, click here.

>>> Here’s the difference between the Philly micro-Ivy League and armpit-Ivy League: Over at Haverford, they’ve got “Quaker bouncers,” who comb the campus looking for party casualties… [Inky]
>>> …and at Penn, the school newspaper has a 4-scroll story on which hot TA’s are worth banging. [34thStreet]
>>> Meanwhile, the poor slobs at ol’ St. Joe’s are [...]

[...] the judge was not as happy with Sigel’s explanation for why he had been spotted in the company of a convicted felon.
“It’s kind of hard for me to know who I’m associating with in the business I’m in,” Sigel explained.
Surrick looked Sigel in the eye and then admonished him.

“You’re going to get this [...]

>>> What with the recent banning of vices and pleasure-killing going down, the Speakeasy Prohibition Party at Valanni sounds like a plan: A bathtub gin distillery, blackjack, and C. The Impaler’s swallowed comments? We’re fooling on that last one. 9pm.
>>> Hear it straight from the pros tonight: Your band probably sucks. Okay, so it’s our [...]

After the jump, our interns begin their journey of DANCEFLOOR JUSTICE! Goss and pics after the jump.

IHateMiltonStreet.com: When Milton Finally Googles Himself, They’ll Be Right There Waiting

The future of pound cake in a trans-fat-free city leaves us concerned for a local legend: Stock’s Bakery. Stock’s original recipe, beloved by droves of poundcake purists, dates back to the late 1930’s. In come the bad guys who want to take taste away from bakery cases city-wide: Bill #060958 is an amendment that would [...]

The Onion now puts out the paper in 10 markets: Madison, Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, Denver/Boulder, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, New York and Washington, D.C.
It is in the process of starting distribution operations in Boston, Atlanta, Philadelphia and Columbus, Ohio, and is also looking to branch out to Seattle and Portland.
MadisonCapitalTimes: The Onion Grows

Ladies and gentlemen, the pride of South Philadelphia.

>>> Ol’ Milton might have painted him as a stooge (even using the “Duhhhh, which way did he go, George?” voice in one interview we saw), but you can’t argue with numbers: Bob Brady surges to 18% in the polls. Keep in mind that at this point, there are more people in Philly running for [...]