Fuck, Marry, Kill: Sport Of Champions!
After the jump, our toughest poll yet.
Based on the popular college parlor game of the same name, Fuck, Marry, Kill is a simple concept. We give you three names, and you must order them how you’d act in an imaginary world free of consequence ‚Äî who you’d live out the rest of your days with, who you’d smite from the Earth forever and who you’d simply have consensual adult relations with and then never speak to again. We’ll leave the poll up all week and then reveal its results on Fridays. This week, we take on a truly motley lot: Mangled Dead Boy Who Won’t Go Away, the freakishly tragic young lad currently making the rounds of just about every local news (and non-news) outlet you’d care to mention; The Jersey Devil, the supposedly mythical beast that has been terrorizing the New Jersey Pine Barrens for a couple hundred years now; and to make it interesting, riot grrl icon/snacky strumpet The Utz Girl, who we’ve had it bad for since, oh, about 1993. This is a tough one, gang. Let’s see a fair fight. Go!
February 28th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
i’m gonna vote the shit out of this
February 28th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
oh – by the way – it is truly wrong to vote for fucking the dead boy.
February 28th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
This is joke about a dead boy? Thats pretty lame.
February 28th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
joey, you’ve hurt teahead’s feelings.
February 28th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
teahead – i chose to marry the dead boy – i suggest you do the same – it’s seems to be the only option in staying strong, here. we gotta do what’s right. you with me?
February 28th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
teahead – take my hand!
March 1st, 2007 at 9:28 am
Joseph Bonaparte, elder brother of Napoleon and the deposed King of Spain, once encountered the Jersey Devil while on a hunting trip outside of his mansion in Bordentown, NJ. A fact!
March 1st, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Who knows, the dead boy could have grown up to be a hottie. But then, he would be old and look like a scrotum by now.
Fuck ‘em.