Comments on: Philebrity Asks: Should We Ban Cheesesteak The Impaler?

By: C. The Impaler

C. The Impaler — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 15:05:55 +0000

Pen Name, I know you too! You laughed at my jokes back in algebra because I was the dungeon master for our D&D group since fifth grade. Yeah, you told the new friends you started hanging out with post growth spurt and driver’s license that you outgrew it; but you still showed up to our biweekly meeting in the comic shop’s back room to level up and make sure no one f’d with your character sheet.
You were also in that crowd of kids who just didn’t get to the cool kids table because you just weren’t rich, athletic, or good looking enough; but now you have the 700 Club and monologues tossed out of the original Grosse Point Blank script. Funny how a kid who never really moved on and left the high school cafeteria skipped the reunion.

And those rubber-triangle things were prescribed to me by the learning aid! My sheet may have listed “1st chair trumpet” as a bonus trait, but my Dexterity was like a 4.

I want my Fiend Folio back.

By: david

david — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 20:57:05 +0000

actually, his comments are much more palatable when subvocalized in the comic book guy voice…

By: Pen Name

Pen Name — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:56:39 +0000

I know you, Cheeseteak the Impaler. You’re the cat who sat behind me in Alegbra and whispered really off-the-mark, unfunny jokes all year long, forcing me to laugh out of sheer pity. I can still feel your warm breath against the back of my neck. EEEEEEEEEEH! Oh, and by the way: Those rubber triangular grip-things you used to slide over your pencils, reeeeeeeeeeally unnecessary.
Unfortunately, times haven’t changed much. And while we’d still like to force your head down a toilet and flush, your sophomoric comments do not constitute grounds for expulsion. I know. It sucks. But we have to live with it (and by it I mean you), so I suggest the lot of us kick in a buck or two and buy you a copy of The Elements of Style. Your grammar is atrocious. Bye now.

By: garethnakov

garethnakov — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:34:38 +0000

LET’S TORCH THIS SUMBITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

By: garethnakov

garethnakov — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:33:40 +0000

woh – oh boy – woh!
(imagine: large saggy fisherman with beard standing at a computer desk with fishing line stuck in computer screen – maybe some ass crack showing)
aww – i caught me a good one – wow!
man – this is going on the wall.
c’mere boys – i got me a great post!!!

from cti after being asked “do i know you, cheesesteak the impaler?”:

“Do youza know cheesesteak? Quit trying to know your food! Gotta get the cheesesteak while it��s hot, trying to get to know it just gets it all congealed and that��s not nice.

Be wary ye who look upon the cheesesteak less ye find the cheesesteak looking upon ye.”

By: ginny

ginny — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:27:56 +0000

why do you even care?

By: C. The Impaler

C. The Impaler — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:08:37 +0000

Wow, you can actually google “cheesesteak the impaler” and get a pretty broad record of “me”. I did not know I was so … archived.

By: d1w1f1

d1w1f1 — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 18:55:20 +0000

can we get a few examples of his work ?
I save my uninformed voting for local elections

By: C. The Impaler

C. The Impaler — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 18:52:46 +0000

Yes, I’m am the internet equivalent of an 80s cartoon / comic book / action figure international terrorist organization’s equivalent of a Navy SEAL (did anyone pick up on the EEL / SEAL thing until like five minutes ago?). I’ll take that as a sendoff; but really I’d rather be Zartan or Firefly. Besides, the Cheesesteaks can’t swim, I’m not even sure if they float.

There wouldn’t be much of a point to post on here if I couldn’t as CTI, though I think it’s funny that I’ve actually provoked conniptions in Joey that go beyond conventional ‘net hatred of haters. We’re like in chief inspector Dreyfus at Clouseau rage here. Take off the iron glove, it gets on people’s nerves.

By: sluggerB

sluggerB — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 18:46:54 +0000

Delware River.
Concrete Boots.

Yes, this is where I say “just sayin’.”