Breaking: Johnny Doc Is NOT Running For Mayor

docRepeat: NOT running for Mayor.

PHILADELPHIA, PA — John J. Dougherty, business manager of the powerful International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local Union 98 and a presumed Democratic candidate for mayor of Philadelphia in 2007, today announced that he is exiting the 2007 mayor’s race, citing family health problems as the primary reason for his decision.

For a hot minute earlier today, we were speculating that sworn enemy-of-the-Doc Bob Brady’s entrance into the race might provoke a Clash Of The Shady White Dude Titans in which Doc would flip to the GOP side and thereby insure, because of union strongholds, that either one of them would definitely wind up being Mayor. But this is not to be. Which raises the question once again: Who the hell are the Republicans going to run? However, at this point, a better way of asking this might be, “Who in Philadelphia most exemplifies the term ‘HUMAN FORFEIT’?”
TheNextMayor: See Ya, Wouldn’t Wanna Be Ya

3 Responses to “Breaking: Johnny Doc Is NOT Running For Mayor”

  1. zned Says:

    Why, Sam Katz of course.

  2. dmac Says:

    Donovan McNabb? Mo Cheeks?

  3. DJRobertDrake Says:

    well, if Jeff Garcia ever wanted to dabble in politics during his off-season, this is the year ;)

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