Not to be all Chicken Little mp3 blogger about it, but 2006, time will tell us, was the year the record industry, at long last, finally up and fucking died. And talk about going out with a whimper. Meanwhile, ironically, it got harder and harder to find people who were actually making decent records. As fate would have it, a lot of them lived here. And oh, how we danced. This year, we’ve forgone a lot of the rock critic-y stuff ‚Äî because thankfully, that died, too ‚Äî and just are giving you the compiled listings of our panel of experts, as well as the odd bit of commentary. The people have spoken, and luckily, they have done so in handy bullet points that anyone can understand.
Now fire up those headphones, because after the jump, we’ve got mp3 and video and lists out the wazoo.

Absolute Favorite Song Of The Year Hands Down: Peter Bj??rn & John, “Young Folks”

¬? Peter Bj??rn & John: “Young Folks” [mp3, from Writer's Block]
Our song of the year this year ‚Äî voted nearly unanimously ‚Äî has not even been released in this country yet. And we swear we aren’t doing it just be like that. Really, everyone who heard “Young Folks” by Swedish pop upstarts Peter Bj??rn and John (aided here by ex-Concretes singer Victoria Bergsman) or saw the video fell in love instantly, and hard. Love is like that sometimes.
Honorable mention:
¬? Miniature Tigers: “The Wolf” [mp3, from The Octopus EP]
¬? The Walkmen: “Don’t Forget Me” [mp3, from Pussycats/listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
¬? Jarvis Cocker: “Black Magic” [mp3, from Jarvis]
¬? Bitter, Bitter Weeks: “Peace Is Burning Like A River” [mp3, unreleased, unbelievably]
¬? Charlotte Gainsbourg: “The Operation” [mp3, from 5:55]
¬? Midlake: “Roscoe” [mp3, from The Trials Of Van Occupanther]
¬? Okkervil River: “The President’s Dead” [mp3, from Overboard & Down EP]

Best Arguments Against The Death Of The Album

¬? Brightblack Morning Light, Brightblack Morning Light [pictured, listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
¬? Camera Obscura, Let’s Get Out Of This Country
¬? Favourite Sons, Down Beside Your Beauty
Favourite Sons: “Things That We Do To Each Other” [mp3]
¬? Midlake, The Trials Of Van Occupanther
¬? Grizzly Bear, Yellow House
Grizzly Bear: “Knife” [mp3]
¬? Juana Molina, Son
Juana Molina: “R??o Seco” [mp3]
¬? M Ward, Post War [listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
¬? Spank Rock, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo [listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
¬? Phoenix, It’s Never Been Like That
Phoenix: “Rally” [mp3]

The Don’t Believe The Hype Honorary Statue Made Of Soap

¬? Joanna Newsom
¬? Dirty Pretty Things
¬? Man Man
¬? The Knife
¬? The Presets
¬? The Raconteurs

Inexplicably Most Played Song In Office, At House Parties And In iPod:

¬? French Kicks: “Also Rain” [mp3]
48 plays on the main office computer and counting. Why? We can’t say. But was it on purpose? Oh yes. But isn’t this that band who can never decide if they want to be the Walkmen or the Liars? That’s what we thought. But you’re saying you listened to this more than any other song this year? The numbers don’t lie.
Honorable mention:
¬? Hot Chip: “Over And Over.” No surprise there, Sherlock.
¬? The Police: “Demolition Man.” Oh, why the hell not.

Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Stripper Rap: Spank Rock

Raging anti-hipstercokerap sentiment be damned, this was totally Naeem Juwan’s year. Dude was everywhere, in the background on Entourage, opening up for Beck, headlining the Troc at one of the more inspired live shows of the year, on everybody’s iPod, and shit, we even saw him at the coffee shop up the street a few times. And in all of that, through all that hype, nobody even stopped to mention that nerd affect aside, what Spank Rock was really giving us ‚Äî apart from the nerdsexy affect, lessons in how to wear skinny jeans, and a platform for Amanda Blank ‚Äî was a new plateau in music for titty bars. Finally! 2 Live Crew, be gone! Venga Boys, you are toast! Ass-shakin’ competition champ indeed. Well done, sir.

The “You Had It Coming” Award:

¬? Philadelphia cigarette smokers
¬? Rifle Nice/Pony Pants
¬? Tower Records
¬? The Khyber

Best Mixtape/Podcast:

¬? Cut Copy, Fabric
¬? Jon Solomon’s “Local Support” music podcast
¬? Philebrity Weekender Streaming Sampler
¬? Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Hour
¬? National Eye, promotional podcasts for Room Full Of Lions
¬? Diplo, Mad Decent Radio

Biggest Loss Of The Year

¬? Silk City
¬? Grant McLennan
¬? Jason DiEmilio
¬? Mazarin

Guiltiest Pleasure: The Killers, “When You Were Young”

Hey Douchebag: Bruce Springsteen called. He said he just authorized every Boss fan in the world to smash a pint glass on your face if you ever use him as your whole album’s press line again. But God damn it if this song doesn’t give us serious White Man’s Overbite.
Honorable mention:
¬? Nelly Furtado, “Maneater”
¬? Medeski, Martin and Wood at the World Cafe Live
¬? Justin Timberlake, ‚ÄúSexy Back‚Äù/Rihanna, ‚ÄúSOS” (tie)

Letdown Of The Year: Faux Daft Punk at Halloween Rave Cave

One Myspace bulletin and hype was set: Daft Punk at the Rave Cave! Logistics chimed in that the real Mccoy were on another continent, Agnew confessed that masked phonies were subbing in, and for those who didn’t know, it’s all behind you now. It took us a few seconds, too.
Honorable mention:¬? K-Fed‚Äôs ‚ÄúPlaying With Fire‚Äù
¬? Anything U2 did, said, played or touched.
¬? Alec Ounsworth solo album still not released
[Photo credit: YapSnaps]

Most Confoundingly, Mesmerizingly Bad Video Of The Year: 30 Seconds To Mars, “From Yesterday”

This makes us feel bad for every teenager currently alive.

Most Thankful Event: Mashups & Blogrock, RIP

You can’t help but feel like these two were related, but honest, Officer, they weren’t. In ‘05, mashups were already “over” in more snobby circles, but ‘06 was the year that even your snotnose little brother with a fauxhawk and a tight Abercrombie polo and a bone necklace had to know this shit was played. “Oooh, check it out! It’s “Sexy Back” mashed up with Dr. Dog!” Please, just stop. Oh, but you know what? Here’s the secret connection: For us, the whole blogrock bands thing died, and we mean like last-nail-in-the-coffin died, when Cold War Kids covered Dr. Dog’s “Die Die Die.” (Weird that Dr. Dog would be involved in either of these things since in reality they are neither, but on the other hand, they always were right-place-right-time type dudes.) But the pall was on the blogrock long before that, specifically watching Tapes ‘N’ Tapes go from blogspot to Best Buy in no time flat, but to everything there is a season, and the lesson learned here is that, yo, some of these geezers were just not ready for prime time. Stick ‘em back in the oven, Mama, young turks got some livin’ to do. Will blogs continue to turn people on to new music? Of course, silly, but when a band’s entire career happens because of blogs, to the point where the act of blogrocking ‚Äî yes, you heard us right, blogrocking ‚Äî is merely a celebration of itself, something is rotten in Denmark. This, as they say, is why you can’t have nice things.
Honorable mention: Discopunk finally dies also. Large parts of the Discopunk community still unaware of this. Proceed with caution.

Discoveries Of The Year

¬? Bert Jansch: Yes he was here all along, but this year, the old coot was everywhere.
Bert Jansch: “The Black Swan” [mp3, from The Black Swan]
¬? Young Love (the man, not the myth)
¬? Pink Skull
¬? Sally Shapiro and her sweet disco jams
¬? Voxtrot’s “it’s been done, a lot, but we’re still doing it and it’s still pretty good” indie rock
¬? The Pipettes and their Spector-esquities.
¬? Dark Side Of The Cop

Best Local Record: Blood Feathers, Curse & Praise

We called it when we said in 2005 that this would be the one to beat in 2006, and now looky! It was, and no one did! It’s not like we didn’t give the other ones a chance, either. But nothing rolled around in the dirt and wagged its tail quite like Curse And Praise. It was the cutest puppy in the pound, and when you’re right, you’re right. The Blood Feathers’ debut was that long-lost Travelling Wilburys record that never made it out, and the Everly Brothers’ secret hippie mountain hideaway. Deadheads, freak folkers, trucker beards, country nerds, dadrockers, XPN soccer moms and even cranky record store employees could all find something to love here.
Blood Feathers: “Sweet Little Lullaby” [mp3, listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
Honorable mentions: Man Man, Six Demon Bag
Espers, Espers II [listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
The Cobbs, The Cobbs Sing The Death Capades [listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
Mahogany, Connectivity! [listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]

Best Local Where The Fuck Is Their Record:

¬? American Sneakers (pictured)
American Sneakers: “Finito” [mp3]
¬? Hi Soft
Not to be confused with the “Band To Watch” honors. Rather, “Best Local Where The Fuck Is Their Record” indicates those bands which really should have released records this year, but did not, and now the whole Philly Timeline Of Rulingness is kinda thrown off. Thanks for nothing, fuckers.

First Annual “Path Of The Righteous” Local Band Award: Man Man/Dr. Dog/Spinto Band/Espers/Capitol Years

These guys all split it for ridiculous levels of “Road Dog” stick-to-it-iveness we’ve not seen since the age of Stillwater. Between these five groups, we are talking some serious Marlboro Miles, people. These are the Philly bands that more people saw (and then talked about) than any of the others, with the possible exception of the Roots, who’d hold the Lifetime Achievement Award in this category if there was one. These people represented you to the music-going public all over the world. They told everyone how great it was here, how we take absolutely no shit, and how we’d love to have ‘em all over any old time. And for that, we salute them.
Honorable mention: Adam Arcuragi. Released a totally sick debut record in an age when being a singer-songwriter is basically like walking around with a sandwich board that says “I HAVE DICK LEPROSY” and still made fans anywhere that would have him. He kicked it smooth like dolphin pussy.
Adam Arcuragi: “1981 (Or Waving At You As We Part At Light Speed Will Look Like I‚Äôm Standing Still)” [mp3, listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]

Most Slept-On Philly MC: Kenneth Masters, By A Country Mile

Fucking ridiculous how this guy is slept on. Stop the madness.

Best New DJ Nights

¬? Hurrah
¬? “Supposedly Broadzilla‚Äî but I‚Äôm an old standby kind of girl.”

Best Old Standby DJ Night: Sorted!/Paradise at Key West/Making Time

Honorable mention: Bleached Black/[click.]

Best Musical Subgenre: Robot Rock

Rock this late in the game takes a lot more technology, and the new school doesn’t have to play instruments to hold a rhythm. Electro beat-keeping, heavy sampling, and futuristic digi-mixing are how the indie dance hits are built.
Honorable mention:
¬? Pink Skull [Editor's note: One person really did nominate Pink Skull for everything.]
¬? New Rave. Wait, what the fuck is that? We like N?º New Rave.
¬? “Actually, I‚Äôm a huge proponent of Swede Pop and have been getting hype on it all year long.”

Best Musical Trend: Making awesome music videos for $100…

…posting them to YouTube and getting a million views and a hundred thousand new fans and a record deal from Matador. Wait, this hasn’t really happened yet. But it will.

Worst Musical Trend:

¬? Being from Brooklyn
¬? Spamming MySpace profiles with an over-abundance of annoying bulletins and comments and invitations promoting yr crappy band that we somehow befriended in an obvious lapse of judgement or drunken late-night emailing and now can’t remember to un-friend you before you go ahead and crap all over our bulletin boards in a blaze of misguided self-promotion.

And Now, Chris McKenna Explains Why He Nominated Pink Skull For Like Every Category

JG — aka Justin Gellar of Pink Skull — does or has done the following:
#1)Went on from DJ’ing my wedding to djing a show at the Guggenheim.
#2)Kept very important web servers running, while running another
business, while being a DJ, while producing like 8 bands.
#3)Sings songs to my voicemail.(I don’t get that kind of service from
any other bands. Even the ones I’ve made music videos for.)
#4)Pink Skull are the first band I ever heard of who have figured out
how to use the hype machine to blow themselves up:
http://hype.non-standard.net/
#5)Jesus: go listen already:
http://www.thetempleofpinkskull.com/
Pink Skull: “If You Like Can” [mp3]

All-Around Best Musical Experience

¬? Espers at Fels Planetarium
¬? Flaming Lips on the Delaware
¬? Dr. Dog in Fels Planetarium
¬? Plastic Little’s Entire oeuvre
¬? Belle & Sebastian at the Electric Factory
Biased, but seriously: You’re gonna cry foul now?

All-Around Worst Musical Experience

¬? Any sweltering summer shows at the Church
¬? Shins pre-album hype
¬? “85% of anything played in Liberty Lands Park, I don’t drug enough”
¬? Plastic Little’s Entire oeuvre
¬? “Making Time for its mean hipsters, yuppie spill-overs and overpriced drinks.”
¬? World Cafe Live surrounded by Penn Students and middle-aged suburbanites.

Bands To Watch In 2007:

¬? Public Record
¬? The War on Drugs [listen to the full album here on The Philebrity Player]
¬? Plastic Little, who will “rise to International fame this year, take the throne of Philly rap band your mom’s heard of away from The Roots.” [listen to Plastic Little here on The Philebrity Player]
¬? Meg Baird
¬? Snowden
¬? New Young Pony Club or Escort

About our panelists:

Mark Shoneveld is a frequent Philebrity collaborator and the man behind The Poverty Jet Set. Chris McKenna built this site with his bare hands when the Internet was just a dream. Ruth Carpenter makes the trains run on time. Joey Sweeney used to be a rock critic. Kelly White is a frequent Philebrity contributor and often explains things. Alexis K. Lerro is our listings dominatrix and Tastes Like Depeche Mode.

Cover photo: Miles Bancroft Hall of Windsor For The Derby, courtesy Hall Family Archives.

Note: These mp3s will not be up for very long at all.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 at 2:50 pm.