While everyone was busy sleeping it off before they got it on last week, you might have missed how Lynne Abraham made a Lynne Abraham Dance Party all over Mayor John Street’s face. At issue: What else? The Mayor’s overall sluggish vibe as the city rocked a whopping 408 murders while Street essentially did this. Quoth the Lynnester:
“Do something!” Abraham burst out at a news conference in comments directed at the mayor. “You know, stop switching around and changing programs and not having the courage to call up the district attorney and say, ‘Lynne, what do you think we ought to do?’
“He’s the only mayor in Philadelphia history who hasn’t called the district attorney up and said, ‘Lynne, we have a crime problem. Let’s you and the Police Department and us sit down and come up with a plan.’ Not our mayor.”
After the jump, big ups for Lynne (no, really) and why Street is the ghostiest ghost in all of Ghost World.
Now, say what you will about Abraham ‚Äî sure, she kinda represents Old Philly a little too much, her eyes shine with the dullard glint of Major Fucking Beauacracy, and wow, that haircut ‚Äî BUT at the end of the day, she’s got the toughest job in a city full of them. And to hear her say that she and John Street have never spoken about the murder epidemic was, to say the least, shocking. How could this be? How, as a mayor, could a man have an albatross this heavy swinging around his neck, threatening not only his already well-tarnished legacy but also, not for nothing, the lives of his own people ‚Äî cue up soundbyte of “the brothers and sisters are running this city” ‚Äî and still not call up the acting District Attorney and say, “OK: UNCLE. What do we do to fix this?” What is this, The Wire? Don’t answer that.
And yet, there it is: The story did manage to lead local TV news yesterday, and Hizzoner finally got to respond to Abraham’s bellowing WTF? His sage reply? Something to the effect of “When Lynne Abraham needed a new car, she didn’t hesitate to call us…”
Meaning what? Meaning that, in the absence of an actual response, you’ll just belittle the woman ‚Äî which we’d advise you not to do, I mean, look at her, she could fucking crush you, dude ‚Äî and throw up some red herring about how it’s all just politics? No way. Street is burning inside because at that same press conference (which, by the way, was about how it’s illegal to shoot guns into the air on New Year’s Eve, just like it is on every other day of the fucking year, you idiots), Abraham dared to voice what all of us have been whispering since forever already: Yes, that Street is a lame duck. Good for her. Seriously. And going into his last year in office, he’s never been lamer. And yet strangely, for Street, there’s never been more at stake: The murder problem isn’t going away anytime soon, he got totally fucked on the Riverwalk thing, his brother is probably going to jail (and if you think Street himself won’t get indicted the day he leaves office, you’re half-crazy) and perhaps worst of all, there’s no more Rocky bread and circus left to distract everyone while he whiles away these last days in office. Bearing that in mind ‚Äî and so much more in this metropolis of payback and weirdjive ‚Äî we here at Philebrity are dubbing 2007 “The Year Without A Mayor.” Strap yourselves in, folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. And God, if you are out there, please: Have a little mercy this time around. We’re just waiting until the old guy leaves. Then it’ll get awesome again. We promise.