Fort Saint Davids Responds
Well, as promised, here’s the answers to the five questions we — that is, your favorite hometeam Fort Saint Davids, said that we’d answer. Ready when you are!
1. mkcrltn wrote: “remember when M.I.A. said her new song was call ‚ÄúBIRD FLU‚Äù because ‚ÄúTHIS BEAT GON KILL EVERYONE!!‚Äù (this was back in August) was she right? are we all going to die of H5N1 avian flu? or if you‚Äôd prefer to tackel an easier question‚Ķwhy does nobody complain about the constant turntable train wrecks at broadzilla?”
Dear Mister Krunk Critic Loonytoon Noob (clearly that’s what your name stands for), I’m sorry to admit that yes, the beat is “gon” kill everyone, but then, well, you knew that. We’re also going to die of the bird flu, which you also knew. Two deaths! Plus there’s that Inconvenient Truth stuff — that’s going to happen too. Is it getting hot in here? Now please get under your desk while we perform a drill that will simulate what it’s going to be like when the Big One drops and radiation comes blasting through the school windows. No time to save your Trapper-Keeper, quick little ones, under the desk! Now!
Also, for those of you planning on having children, please remember that their future will include Death Beats, Bird Flu, Melted Ice Caps, and Nuclear War. Welcome to the Terrordrome, kids! Aren’t you glad your parents fucked?
As to skipping records at Broadzilla, I’m only allowed to answer one question per person, however I will make an exception and say that considering the median age of all of the girls there is about 17, the way I see it is the record skip keeps the song shorter which helps keep their collective ADD in check. So it’s all gravy, is basically what I’m saying here.
2. jeffreybleachedblack writes:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, snap!
Dear Jeffrey: So like when you bleach black it’s white, right? Right.
3. lord_whimsy writes: Where should a man’s cuffs rest when his hands are at his sides? And how low should the tip of his tie hang? And the break in men’s trouser cuffs: Lots? Little? Pro? Con? Is there a thriftwear crisis among the indie kids? And what the HELL is the deal with the appearance of keyhole buttonholes on OTR jacket lapels? Weighty subjects, all!
Whimsy old sport: It should go without saying that of course I know the answers to all of the above questions, but unfortunately the rules clearly stated you can only ask one! So you’re disqualified! Better luck next time…!
4. DJRobertDrake writes: Are you REALLY a saint, FSD??
Me? No sir. But Saint David was a real dude, alright, and Fort Saint David was a real place, but the plural version is not that place, it’s somewhere else. And that’s the bonus question of the day!
5. Phidget writes: Why must FSD speak of himself in the third person?
Hi, I’m Erik Bader! And I think that…hmmm, you see? It’s just not as fun.
