IN THIS CORNER: Smoking Ban Lifted Until Jan. 8 [ActionNews]
PRO: Well, duh. You can smoke with all the power in the lungs that the Good Lord gave you! Light up, bitches!
CON: Persnickety bar owners/bartenders already spoiled by a month or so of waking up not smelling like failure. In particular, yours.
PRO: Under the new law taking effect in January, exemptions will be easier to get for outdoor cafes.
CON: Outdoor smoking is still the new white baseball cap, and no amount of snazzy berets is gonna change that, bucko.
AND IN THIS CORNER: City To Consider Ban On Trans Fats [Fox29]
PRO: Can’t help but bump us down in annual fattest-city polls.
CON: Most Philly-identified foods will be illegal to produce.
PRO: Secret “tasty labs” sprout up in Kensington, replacing meth as local export.
CON: Local drug dealers will now be accused of lacing their gear with butterscotch instead of meth/PCP/laxative. Oh wait, no, laxative stays.
PRO: Having people walk up to you outside summer festivals and whispering, “Yo, I got them sweet Chocolate Juniors, baby.”
CON: Forking over $20 per because you really do need it that bad.
WINNER BY UNANIMOUS DECISION: TRANSFATS!

This entry was posted on Monday, December 18th, 2006 at 1:30 pm.