Ah, yes! Halloween in Philadelphia. Given our very well-documented predeliction to parade around each New Year’s Day in the world’s most bizarre form of blackface, is it any wonder that we’re also, like, totally Boner City when it comes to celebrating All Hallow’s Eve? No, it isn’t. And the amount of Halloween parties we’ve come across this year is utterly staggering ‚Äî so much so that this year, we’re not even bothering with our own. (Sorry, folks, maybe we’ll bring back the mummy strippers next year.) Meantime, check out these very worthy parties ‚Äî all 4,118 of them ‚Äî and from our rotting corpse to yours, may you have the happiest Halloween imaginable.

Full listings after the jump.

FRIDAY OCTOBER 27, 2006

¬? DJ Elliott & I Brewed It My Way present: The Halloween Party! 9pm. $3 with costume, $5 without. 295 Wyoming Ave., Wyoming, PA.
¬? Halloween 20666: Low Budget, Wolfenschnitzeltron & Yah Mos Def. Costumes required. 10:30pm. The Dining Center, Haverford College.
¬? Seclusiasis brings the 2nd Annual: The Straight Dope PHREAK OUT! Halloween Costume Party
Sluttiest Costume Contest With Spooky Selectors: Dev79, Starkey, Stumble, Generic Man. 9pm. Free. $2 Vampire Shots, $1 PBR and High Life until 11pm, Upstairs at The Khyber.
¬? Shitfits: Misfits Tribute Halloween Show, Sadaharu: Tribute set to Black Flag. 9pm. Rex‚Äôs Bar, Westchester.
¬? Vampires + Vixens, Costumes Required. 9pm. 5 Hour Open Bar. $60 GA presale. $100 VIP presale. Day of: GA $75. VIP $125. 23rd Street Armory.

SATURDAY OCTOBER 28, 2006

¬? Bleached Black Presents: All Hallowsleeze. Guest DJ: Lil‚Äô Jen Costumes encouraged. 9pm. Free. Medusa Lounge, 21st and Chestnut.
¬? Costume Party With Brothers Past. 9pm. Rex‚Äôs Bar, Westchester.
¬? Dave Pat The Klip Collective Studios, 10pm. $5. 201 N. Broad St., 8th Floor, at Broad and Race.
¬? Halloween‚Äôs Revenge Satanic Spinning by Kristin:L. Drink specials all night long. Costumes strongly recommended. 9pm. Free. Ministry of Information, 449 Poplar St.
¬? Philadelphyinz Halloween. With DJs Apt One, Skinny Friedman, BD1982. 9pm. Free. Upstairs at The Khyber.
¬? Santorum Scares Me! A Halloween Cabaret to Benefit Philadelphians Against Santorum. Anti-Republican costume contest and Terrifying theatre. 9pm-11pm. $10 or free with costume. Ortlieb’s Brewery Cabaret, 829-51 N. American St.
¬? Sicckkidz “The Last Show on Earth” A Halloween Rock n Roll Circus. Jukebox Zeroes, King of Slam, The Flys, The Warm Jets. 9pm. $8. The Khyber.
¬? The 4th Annual Dracula Festival at the Rosenbach Museum: 4pm Gallery Talk, 5:30pm 4th Annual Dracula Parade. Free. The Rosenbach Museum.
¬? The Haunted Acid House Masquerade. With Skeletonbreath O’death, Serpents of W.I.S.D.O.M., From Space (members of The Vandelles), H.U.N.T.E.R., Charles Cohen, POPNONAME, Micha Klang, Shawn Rudiman, Thomas The Obscure, Shawn Ryan, ORBICLES, Rob Mall. Vegan catering by 2potatoes. 9pm. $10. Lava Space, 4134 Lancaster Avenue.
¬? The RAVE CAVE: Halloween Costume Dance Party with performances by AJ Ready Right, Cold Retarded, Driz Horse, Cars Will Burn, Sweatheart, Sri Slava. BYO+Costumes. 7pm-10:30. SPACE 1026, 1026 Arch St.

SUNDAY OCTOBER 29, 2006

¬? Halloween Horror Roller Derby, Heavy Metal Hookers VS Coal City Rollers. 6pm. $10 advance, $12 at the door. Wilks-Barre, PA.
¬? Lil Kev and Billdreadz Present: Black Mass DJs spinning metal. Ministry of Information (449 Poplar St.)
¬? Thugs Unlimited vs. The Enforcer Squad video shoot. 6pm. 2nd floor of the Fringe Cabaret (857 N. American St.)

MONDAY OCTOBER 30, 2006

¬? The Avant Gentlemen‚Äôs Lodge and J Emory present: Mothguts, Health and Peppermints. $5 donation. The Avant Gentlemen’s Lodge, 4028 Filbert St.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 31, 2006

¬? Costume Contest with DJ John Redden Spinning. Half price pitchers of margaritas after 10pm. Open bar from 9pm-11pm. Free. Cantina Los Caballitos, 1651 E. Passyunk Ave.
¬? Halloween At Johnny Brenda’s with Windsor For The Derby, with A. Granduciel, Kurt Vile & The Violators and DJ Grogosphere. 9pm. Johnny Brenda’s.
¬? Halloween Extravaganza 9 featuring: Necktie, Joe Coffee, El Toro De Oro, Sugar Daddie, Dead Meat, Y-Di, Scarehoe w/ Mikey Wild, Call the Paramedics, The World Famous Crawlspace Brother, 7pm. $10. The Khyber.
¬? Hot Pursuit with DJ Skeme. Free. Walnut Room, 1709 Walnut St., 2nd Fl.
¬? Paperstreet and Soul Travelers Present Haunted Hotel: Halloween Night at The Bellevue Hotel, with the sounds of Soul Travelers. Costumes required. 9pm. $10 on Guestlist. $15 at the door. XIX at The Bellevue Hotel, 200 S. Broad St.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 1, 2006

¬? Little Dive Bar of Horrors Halloween Party with special guest: DJ Krames from Cobra Kai. $5. 2 hour open bar on guestlist. Medusa Lounge.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 27th, 2006 at 1:08 pm.