I mean, hey, it’s a question worth asking, right? After all, for a lot of us, it’s a kind of urban shorthand that the best way to avoid DUIs is to ride a bike while intoxicated as opposed to driving a car. But ‚Äî are the rumors true? Are cops really handing out DUI violations to blinkered bicyclists? Shudder to think! After debating it around the office for entirely too long, we had a novel idea: Let’s just get someone to find out for sure.

After the jump, our own Alexis K. Lerro reports. Be afraid. Be sort of afraid.

Alexis K. Lerro reports: Drunkenly pedaling down Broad Street in the pouring rain one night, I asked myself, “Is this legal? Because it sure is fun.”

No, my fellow cyclists, it is not legal.

Not only is it illegal, it’s like, real illegal.

Great, next you’re going to tell me that running stop signs is illegal too, or worse, smoking in bars.

Biking while intoxicated seems like such an easy answer to a single, twenty-something girl’s transportation woes. It’s cheaper than SEPTA, faster than SEPTA and usually safer than SEPTA. Not to mention, it’s more reliable than Philly men and their promises of “cab fare.” After a few lagers or margs, I knew I could hop on my Schwinn and make my wobbly way home, with no one looking at me strangely for singing too loudly.

It wasn’t until recently that my sneaking suspicion of this misdemeanor turned into full-blown awareness. After chugging a PBR at “office happy hour,” I asked Joey, “Is it illegal to bike drunk?”

He thought so, because he knows of someone who got cited, or a friend of a friend who got cited, or his sister‚Äôs lab partner‚Äôs second-cousin‚Äôs neighbor–someone. Urban myth or not, I had some snooping to do; I would not stand idly by as my favorite pastimes were one by one deemed ‚Äúprohibited.‚Äù First roofies and skinning cats, now this.

Here’s the way bad news: BUI, or ‚ÄúBiking Under the Influence‚Äù, is legally the same thing as a DUI in Philadelphia (or Pennsylvania, for the matter). Though not illegal in every state, BUIs are fairly uncommon, and usually come down via tip-offs of highly erratic and odd cycling behavior. The issue really arises from the wording of the law. According to an attorney I corresponded with, specializing in DUIs and driving infractions, ‚ÄúDUI law refers to operation [of] a ‚Äòvehicle‚Äô not a ‚Äòmotor vehicle.‚Äô The same levels of blood alcohol apply, etc.‚Äù Namely, a minimum 0.8% BAC, and a misdemeanor with fines and ‚Äúnot so fun‚Äù court dates, probation and rehab time. Damn you, semantics!

Though the law is pretty clear about drunken cruising, the cops aren’t so concerned with it. Upon my questioning of one of Philly’s Finest, I found that cops not only don’t really care about BUIs, they also don’t really care to talk to weird young women who pester them at Whole Foods. At least I managed to get a couple queries answered. My officer told me that he had never pulled anyone over for drunk biking. He went on to say that he’d only pull someone over if they 1. looked like they weren’t paying attention to where they were going or 2. almost got themselves hit by a car.I would have asked his name, but it was obvious that I’d already taken up too much of his text messaging time—our tax dollars at work. I could only hope that he was catching child pornographers on that Motorola. His fingers were moving fast!

But if what officer Organic Produce Aisle said was true, then I’ll be fine. I ride on the sidewalks when I’m drunk; I’m too afraid of getting hit by the C bus.

Alexis K. Lerro interns with Philebrity when she’s not working on her own blog, TastesLikeDepecheMode.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 at 2:26 pm.