Kelly White Explains It All: What The Fuck Is Going On With The Flyers?
You’ve heard by now that Flyers GM Bobby Clarke resigned and coach Ken Hitchcock got the who-didn’t-see-this-coming sack on Sunday, whether you wanted to or not, because a news-starved media latches onto an NHL shitstorm when it involves so much flinging of the poo. Let us spread it for you: Hitch was canned because he broke his team down and juggled players like he was the big jigga. Did Clarkie really step down, or was he persuaded by owner Ed Snider due to his floppy defense acquisitions and his deep Hitch devotion? We’re nodding to the latter after witnessing this Snider slip:
“We needed to make some changes, I MEAN, we needed to make A change,” he corrected himself during the press conference regarding letting Hitchcock go and Clarke’s “resignment.” Sounds like someone needed extra PR coaching for that cover-up.
With the Flyers more last than last in the standings, and 5 days for heads to roll and locker room tears/cheers to melt away, the shakeup was about as surprising as a Happy Meal toy. What comes next is a game on Thursday with the new chief, former assistant coach John Stevens, who will sculpt our big boys into the same machines that won the Calder Cup with his Phantoms in ‘05. We’re not talking fairy dust results, but shit should start to shape up now that Bitchcock isn’t breathing down necks. No more pussy on the ice. Look for Esche “asking” to be traded. Some muscle may be called up from the Phantoms, or incoming tough guys could be added in the next few weeks if the HitchClarke curse has not been lifted. We’re not saying the ‘ol boys didn’t bring it back in the day, but now all they’re doing is snacking on the payroll.
And so, if you’re still mesmerized by the all of the hoopla, we invite you newly minted rinkrats to witness the possibly epic turnaround of the Philadelphia Flyers. Or not.
Next Game: Flyers VS Atlanta Thrashers, 10/26, 7pm, CSN
Editor’s note: Kelly White is Philebrity’s intern and, as it happens, second cousin, which we didn’t know until we gave her a ride home one time and recognized the house she was going into. As she states in her MySpace profile, “I have Arctic Splash in my blood and blood in my Arctic Splash.” Blood in, blood out, Kells.
