Ooooh, you knew this one was coming: With the media rise of Philly’s indie hip-hop scene ‚Äî see Plastic Little, Spank Rock, Kenneth Masters, et. al ‚Äî it was only a matter of time before what we will charitably call the “washed-up, still-in-06-unbelievably- wearing-baggy-clothes, stuck-in-99″ Philly hip-hop contingent started to (hey white people, pay attention, we’re gonna drop a new term on you here) player-hate. At issue? Shit like this on that bastion of clarity, the 215hiphop.com message board. (Note the poster’s super-keepin’-it-real location of, uh, Jenkintown.) What’s the “mainstream” Philly hip-hop scene’s major malfunction with the new kids? Get ready to yawn: Too white. Too safe. Too contrived. No actual jail time on the part of most of the artists (yet). Translation: Their shirts aren’t big enough, and true thugs don’t go to UArts, yo. After the jump, Jayson Plastic Little responds to the charges via Myspace bulletin. We couldn’t resist reposting.

Warning: Donkey-fucking and album-plugging below.

This is the gem of my life right now. Also, I’m on coke right now sodomizing a donkey. Don’t worry though, the donkey likes it, I can tell by all of the donkey’s erotic neighing. Since I’m here posting this bulletin, I’d like to take the time out to plug the release of She’s Mature. The powers that be tell me that Sh’e Mature will be out tomorrow… yo, hold up…. i just came in the donkeys butt. Okay donkey it’s time for you to leave, my roomates about to wake up, and it’s gonna be real hard explaining this to him. Yeah, so She’s Mature will be out tommorrow, and it’s chock full of homo-eroticism, misogyny, racial baiting, the god science, drugs, sorrow, ass eating, sex, mo’ sex, mo’ drugs, and mo’ sorrow. Oh yeah, we rap too. And a special thanks has to go out to white people, but not to the white-trash ass, fitted hat wearing, tent size t-shirt having white niggers. No, you are diplorable. But my Fader magazine subscribed, Pitchfork up-to-date-with, laced in the newest AirMaxs, clad in your aNYthing t-shirt, i love ya’lls, you too-cool urban astronauts from small towns unknown.You folks have kept my pockets filled with baggies, and those baggies have been filled with that dust, and that dust has given me magic powers, or rather the clairvoyance to see the upcoming race war in which I will be the lone victor, because I will betray both black people and white people. So I, and my robot army shall rule planet earth!!!!!

So yeah,
1. She’s Mature
2. She’s Mature
3. She’s Mature
4. Buy Sean Price’s new album. I believe it’s called ‘Sean Price is Still Rapping”

-jayson.
i’m black.

Previously: Plastic Little On The Philebrity Player ¬? Spank Rock On The Philebrity Player

This entry was posted on Monday, October 16th, 2006 at 2:41 pm.