Playa-Hatas: Ryan Howard Is On The Juice. Posi Dudes: No Frickin’ Way!

ryan howard We’re not so much on the sports here at Philebrity, but we did wanna tip our hat to the current debate concerning Ryan Howard‘s most-likely-in-the-can stab at topping Roger Maris’ 61-home-run record. Sure, others have topped it (Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa), but those are kinda bullshit. Why? Because among the heads, if Ryan Howard hits 62 home runs this season (which he probably will), many will consider him the all-time home run champion, since the 3 players ahead of Roger Maris’ 61 are all steroid users. In the light of this, lots of folks have been debating: Who’s to say that Ryan Howard isn’t on the juice, either? But our friends over at Beerleaguer seem to have put this to rest quite nicely, and thank God for that:

Howard is the same size today as he was in Reading two seasons ago. [...] Physically, he’s a fully-grown 6-4 slugger, and swings perhaps the heaviest bat in baseball this side of Alfonso Soriano. There’s your power source, not growth hormone, and it doesn’t hurt to have an eagle eye to punish all pitches. He’s hitting .309. Physically, his head has not swelled to the size of a pumpkin, and his arms show little definition at all. If anything, his head is almost cherubic, and his body is far from shredded. It looks like his exercise regiment could be bowling and watching Chappelle’s Show every night, and I have it on good authority this last statement is not far off the mark.

As further evidence, we’d like to add that, from our own cursory following of the season, none of the Phillies seem interested enough in winning save for Aaron Rowand and hey, get well soon, dude to actually go on steroids in the first place. I mean, it’s great that Ryan Howard is as pure as the driven snow, but to the rest of you: Maybe a little juice could actually be help at this point?
Beerleaguer: No Juice For You!
YahooSports: Ya Think?

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