Yesterday, Michael Klein ran a pretty interesting story about some total dude-crap that went down last week at NBC10. In summary: Last week, when the big rains came, the station advised its reporters not to do gay things like stand in waste-high flood waters, lest they show a bad example to morons who take behavioral cues from local newsmen, or tempt a fate in which Old Man Lightning exacts the revenge we all are hoping for, wherein we witness an electrical anchorman holocaust, right there on the boob tube. This warning apparently was too much to resist for resident boob Vince Dementri ‚Äî you know the one, he’s got the teasers that make him out to be Dave Shratweiser with a toupee ‚Äî and of course, he did his bit that day, waist-high in the mucky muck. That wasn’t shocking, but what came next was: After his report, Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz, no stranger to the Napoleon Complex, gave old Vinny a royal dressing-down on the air. When Dementri returned to the station, Klein reports, Cousin Vin started raisin’ a ruckus, promisin’ fisticuffs and worse, until The Other Fratboy Weather Man, Doug Kammerer, got between the two of them and then Dementri mysteriously disappeared off the air for a few days.
Phew. You got all that? OK, well, a couple of things: All of this is funny, of course, but it gets to the heart of a growing melanoma on the face of Philebrity’s admittedly favorite local evening news. Because we care, and because we love, we’ve decided to call bullshit on some stuff that’s bugging us about the NBC10 news…

…after the jump.

Still with us? Good. Alright, here’s our gripes:
For one thing, they have GOT to bring back Mendte. As it stands now, NBC10 is without a strong anchor, save for Renee Chenault-Fattah, who is good, but also has way more than her share of watching-paint-dry moments. Plus, watching the Mendtster languish at the pigfuck of a newscast that is CBS3 literally hurts. This man IS Philadelphia, and he deserves better.
For another: Hurricane Schwartz has run his whole avenging dork schtick into the ground. Send him on vacation, get him laid, and bring him back a little less cartoonish and more like the real person he probably is: A dude who knows way more shit about weather than anyone.
As for Kammerer, please tell this man to stop wearing his NBC10 red polo shirt and shorts everywhere he goes: On the air, at Cashman parties, etc. Dude, it would not kill you to wear big boy pants.
Cherie Bank, God love her, is too fat these days to be doling out health advice. We can’t believe you made us say this out loud.
And lastly: MORE GAY TRAFFIC GUY! We so want to hit Pure with this dude.

Sigh. OK, we’re glad we got that out. We feel a lot better now. We love you NBC10 News – we just think it’s time for you guys to show some love back.
Inqlings: Showdown At The Dorkus Malorkus Corral
NBC10: Lookout Mama Weer All Krazy Now

This entry was posted on Friday, July 7th, 2006 at 12:10 pm.