You know, just try and do a good deed. We just tried it for the first time — hey, we heard good things — and guess what? NEVER AGAIN. We finally got our first subscriber copy of W — you know the one with the hubba-hubba weirdy-weirdy spread of Madonna horsing around with horses the way she used to horse around with Vanilla Ice? Hot stuff, to be sure — if you’re Mr. Ed. And then we came across this gushy story about Glenn Senk, president of Anthropologie, the emerging arbiter of style for women-of-a-certain-age-and-zip-code, which is owned by Urban Outfitters. How nice for him, we thought. And then we remembered how we wrote that story back when we were still slingin’ hash at the Weekly about Urban Outfitter President Richard Hayne being a big Rick Santorum supporter, and how Santorum kinda sorta hates fags dead. And how that created quite the firestorm and Salon picked it up and, well, we still get “Dick Hayne Sucks” emails from disgruntled Urban clerks who just found it on the web or something. To be honest, we started to feel a little sorry for the guy. Really, no man should have to swallow that much haterade. Unless he makes it himself. So we decided to check in with the good folks over at the Center For Responsive Politics, which follows the money trail into the belly of the electoral beast until it comes out the other end. Yeah, it’s literally a shitty job, but thank god they do it. Anyway, we thought maybe, just maybe Hayne would have laid off the Santorum contributions for a while if only for the sake of appearances, and possibly after some kind of epiphany along the lines of: This Santorum guy hates gay people, meanwhile my right hand man, Glen Senk, whose making me bazillions of dollars with Anthropologie, just celebrated his 32nd anniversary with his boyfriend. Why, it says so right here in W:

In his office on the second-floor loft, which over-looks the entire ground level, Senk sheepishly apologizes for the clumps of dog hair under his own desk, courtesy of his two beloved Welsh Pembroke corgis, Piper and Cosmo. They regularly visit from the nearby Dutch Colonial house Senk, 50, shares with Keith Johnson, his partner of 32 years. The couple met in Brookville, Long Island, when they were both 10, and Senk says his reaction to Johnson was “chemical”. Hearing this, the quiet Johnson playfully rolls his eyes and adds, “It took me a little bit longer to figure it out.”

Then maybe we could report that Hayne had quit that, let’s not mince words, unnatural relationship — some might even call it “deviant.” We could report that Hayne is no longer underwriting a hater and we can all shop at Urban Outfitters without guilt. You know, give this sordid tale a happy ending, if you will. But we weren’t holding our breath. Anyway, turns out Hayne just can’t quit Santorum and The Center For Responsive Poltics caught him broke-backin’ again with you-know-who:
Center For Responsive Politics: “Tell you what… truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it…”
American Family Association: Think Of Us As Sick Rick’s Think Tank, We Do It So He Doesn’t Have To
CNN: Being Gay No Longer Incurable? Praise The Lord And Pass The Ammo!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 at 3:53 pm.