We’ve been making a lot of noise about the telecom behemoths — including our own beloved Comcast — conniving to turn the Wild West of the Internets into stoopid point-n-click pay-per-view TV — and we’re talkin’ WB and UPN-style lame, not HBO or Comedy Central-style edgy. There basic argument is: Hey, we laid the pipe and now you and me are gonna pay thru the nose for it. Those opposing the corporate greedheads efforts to set up toll booths all over the Info Sooper Highway are calling for “Net Neutrality” which sounds vaguely Swiss, but actually isn’t. (If you’re still scratching your chin about all this, you can bone up here) The other night we were surfing around and lo and behold we came across this site called Hands Off The Internet. At first glance, this looks just like a pro-Net Neutrality site, but look closer. It’s actually sponsored by all the big telecoms — AT&T, Verizon, Cingular Wireless and BellSouth, plus a bunch of shell organizations that toe the greedhead line — and tries to co-opt the basic argument of the pro-Net Neutrality folks: If you love the Internet set it free. As in “Free Market.” Surely we’ve finally figured out the hey-wait-a-minute! difference between ‘freedom’ and ‘free markets’ after however many years of rich-get-richer-poor-get-fucked Republican hegemony. On a related note, there is a lot of speculation on the blogosphere that the reason all the telecoms rolled over for the NSA spooks and named numbers is they were offered a quid pro quo deal promising not to put the kibosh on excessive Internet profiteering. Here’s your chance for a little payback: turning over your phone records without your permission or a judge’s court order is illegal and you can sue your phone carrier. Ordinarily, we’re not down with the lawsuit frivolity thing, but there’s nothing frivolous about gang-raping the The Fourth Amendment which very clearly states: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. Please, with our blessing, SUE THE TITS OFF THESE PRICKS! It’s the only language they understand.
Hands Off The Internet: Wanna Ride, Lil’ Girl?
Think Progress: Have Your Day In Court, No Really, Have At It

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 18th, 2006 at 2:34 pm.