Reading? It’s fundamental. Imdb.com, EBay’s Town Hall, The Robb Report. All till my eyes bleed. Now, there’s so much Philly stuff to get you thinking about high lit, too. (1.) [...] I’m trying to snag the National Constitution Center’s $6.4 million journo grant named for Peter Jennings by digging deep into the how-the-fuck-did South [...]

Holy shit, Tommy Chong. There’s not a lot to say that doesn’t involve weed or awesomeness. And with this being the day the freakers and the ballers all celebrate their sticky-icky — or so we are told — we couldn’t think of a better person to phone up and find out: Just what is [...]

Why waste your time even trying to entertain fat chicks and GQ jocks as stuck up wannabe rock stars from the burbs who dont have a clue as to how to be original? Keep trying to sound like the radio bands that suck. Cover bands forever! My heros. Grape Street sucks all over my genitalia. [...]

After what sounds like was an exorbitant amount of partying, [Page Six gossiper Chris] Wilson is rumored to have had a bit of an “accident” in the hotel room’s sheets. (Think Trainspotting.) Wilson’s solution to this issue? Burn the hotel’s sheets in the room’s fire place. Obviously. In the end, we’re told Jaguar picked up [...]

Right now, nearly eleven-thousand people sit on draft boards. They keep up on rules for granting postponements, deferments, exemptions and conscientious objector status. They also learn how to hold meetings, judge evidence and elicit testimony. One member calls it “a ghost of a job.” The draft hasn’t been in place since 1973.
Fox 29: [...]

>>>How to top Live 8? Live 9? Naw. Pink Floyd’s too tired. How about Lionel Ritchie and Supreme Court Judge Sam Alito! People are gonna be dancin’ on the ceiling about this, we’re sure of it. [Inky]
>>>You say Hanoi Jane, we say Barbarella Psychedella![Philly.Com]
>>>Balloon knotters Opie & Anthony to [...]

>>> We are soooooo crashing the Erogenous Zone/Gold Club Naked Titties Party. Oh shut up. It’s been a long week already. Titties are totally in order. Move back to Northampton, Mass if you’re so damn enlightened and over it, you frigid loser. More info here.
>>> New Weird Fishtown expat Sharron Kraus is back in town [...]

Hat’s off, once again, to the Art Department. Here’s hoping we can finally make it thru to the end of one of these PW cover stories that doesn’t have Steve Volk’s byline. Fingers crossed.
Related: Vee Have Vays Of Making You Talk, Ya [PW]
Related: Sometimes (Getting) The Truth Hurts [Sploid]
Previous: Put A Panty [...]

Unconfirmed reports indicate the driver was venting his frustration at not being able to personally put the milk in his motherfuckin’ coffee.
WPVI: Donut Shop Accident Brings Unprecedented Response From Police; Prosecutors May Seek Death Penalty If Any Donuts Die

Alright yon teenagers, it’s time for the most special original recipe Cap’n Freedog: The one and only Making Time, this Saturday at Transit. Thrill as you discover a new cocktail of PBR, Sparks and blood! Thank the heavens when you realize that no one else in the room is either a blogger, sober or over [...]

1976. The Spectrum. We barfed in the parking lot. It was awesome.

¬? Whatever you do, don’t say Dr. Dog! [Pitchfork]
¬? Seriously, did you just hear us? We SAID, “Don’t say Dr. Dog!” [TheFader]
¬? Jesus! Thank you. For not saying Dr. Dog. [PW]
Related: The Philebrity/Thrilladelphia Hancock Street Block Party

“I have an expense account,” says the Inky’s Klein. “I have no need to accept anything for free.”
“Every single thing I write is checked,” says Gross. “I don’t just print what some tipster calls me with.”
“When they were first drafting the policy, they wanted to write that nobody should accept anything for free-ever,” says Bykofsky. [...]

On the afternoon of April 3, a middle-aged man appeared at the eighth-floor offices of the FBI in Philadelphia. The unexpected visitor said he had information he thought might be helpful.
It was Rick Mariano, the recently convicted city councilman who likely faces a lengthy prison sentence.
He came alone.
Inky: Red Rover, Red Rover Let Ricky Rollover

>>> Savvy NJ publicist hatches new plan: Populate Camden with bloggers. What, is “Mom’s house” no longer good enough for them? [Blinq]
>>> Allen Iverson: Dude buys all his cars pre-loaded. [Inky]
>>> And ah yes, the age-old debate: horse-drawn carriage or trolley? Answer: Whichever one has the dopest rims. [AmericanHeritage]

Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space. As you know, records and CDs are a thing of the past. It hurts to carry them and sometimes you sneeze. Rather, we’d like to call your attention to The Philebrity Player. What is it? Well, along with our friends at Apollo Audio, we’ve hatched a free, [...]

>>>We advise you, sons and daughters. On Third Tuesday, the Melange is all you need to know. It’s been going for five years plus now, and as brohangs go, shit, there is nothing brohang-i-er. (Somebody call Webster’s!) DJ Dryw Scully is manning the 700 Club tables with Gabe Boylan, our boy Adam Arcuragi, and Someone [...]

In this era of diminishing readerships and splintering viewerships, all media is looking for new eyeballs — and invariably that means “females.” In the headlong pursuit of the fairer sex, hairy-eared, cigar-chomping editors invariably encourage their most hardened newsbroads to get in touch with their inner-Athropologie either in print or in front of the camera, [...]

This‚Äôd be the cozy cabin where Michael Jackson spent the week after he finally beat the kiddie porn rap; and we hear it‚Äôs also where [Ron Burkle's] pals Leo & Gisele used to go for some steamy ‚Äúprivate time‚Äù - if you don‚Äôt count the two-way mirrors.–Jared Paul Smith
Gawker: Let’s See, ‘Jared Paul Smith’? Now [...]