The internet as we know it is now an endangered species. If Verizon, Comcast, and other broadband companies get their way in Congress this year, the internet may soon become a cable-tv type service in which only selected sites are available and corporate content is favored at the expense of everyone else.
IMC: What This Means [...]

1. No Fred Durst or his kind.
2. No blacks.
3. No blacks.
4. No blacks.
5. No wiggas.
6. No bitches or hos.
7. No homos or metros.
8. Nobody from South Philly.
9. No blacks.
10. Weak-bladdered, fight-happy Jersey assholes welcome by the busload!

Convicted City Councilman Rick Mariano submitted a letter of resignation today and admitted that he betrayed his constituents.
The letter, a copy of which was presented to a federal judge in court this morning, expressed Mariano’s “sincere apology for the dishonor I have brought on this legislative body.”
Inky: Yeah, What He Said

Dear Dr. Philebrity:
What’s up with the reckless use of the word “gay” all over your site?
Have you drank the homo haterade or is it just cruel, cruel irony?
signed
A Gawker In The Gayborhood
The good doctor sets this gazer straight after the jump…

I would post my picture on the front page, every day, as the proud owner. This way, as I traveled around the Delaware Valley, I would get to meet so many fine people of our great city! And figuring each was also a subscriber/reader, I would get to hear, firsthand, how we’re doing.
No matter what, [...]

>>>Sure the ‘bad’ heroin has killed nine in the city, but in the interest of equal time shouldn’t there be an article about all the positive things that the ‘good’ heroin has done? [Inky]
>>>Faye Flam gets flimmed: That’s no chick, that’s a man, man! [Inky]
>>>Tom Sizemore enrolls at Temple: Looking to bag some “frosh” meat, [...]

Rick is the Least Popular Senator
Rick Santorum has received yet another distinction. A Survey USA poll released yesterday puts Rick’s job approval rating at 39% and his disapproval rating at 53%.
This poll makes it official, Rick Santorum is now the least popular member of the U.S. Senate. Congratulations, Rick.
Santorum Exposed: First The Felching [...]

FRIDAY:
>>> This is the sound “WHOA” makes when you plug it into a MoogerFooger: Acid Mothers Temple at Vox Populi. 1350 Cherry St., 8pm, $10.
>>> We’re not allowed to tell you where it is, and we’re not allowed to tell you who’s playing, but apparently there is a Top Secret Thrilladelphia KickOff Thing and the [...]

The Pinnacle site is by far the largest site. It is farthest from any residential neighbors, and it is closest to the current and future 95 ramps. Neither Sugar House, nor River Walk have enough on site space to queue a large number of cars waiting to enter a parking facility. This is a huge [...]

GOATS
Katherine Harris Goat of the week came down to the Florida-vote-counter-turned-candidate-for-U.S.-Senate and the thoroughly loathsome and repellent terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui. Turned out to be an easy call.
Booty shootings Getting shot in the butt is quickly becoming the city’s hot new trend. Next up: getting peashootered in the peenie.
Tom Cruise Tells a TV interviewer: “You can [...]

Find the perosn [SIC] on your block who works for the PPA.
Then kiss their um…you know.
They can and do still “fix” tickets on the regular. A number of PPA henchmen live in Fishtown.
(I don’t work for ‘em…just like the idea)
PhillyBlog: This Is Why The Lord Created Dental Dams

Seriously, guys: When you write these headlines, do you ever read them out loud?
Inky: Oooh, It’s Like Deadwood!

¬? Cap’n Freedung reminds you: Last chance to win Making Time tix!
¬? And hey, have you checked out The Philebrity Player? Today’s the last day to enter for those Blood Feathers CDs.
¬? Speaking of, best to save the date: Sat., April 29, The Thrilladelphia/Philebrity Hancock St. Grand Opening Block Party Freakout! Phew. That really is [...]

Newbies and young’ins may have a hard time believing what a pile of shit the Philly music scene truly was in the 1990s. We’re bound to get a pile of mail from any number of ex-Khyber denizens saying, waahhh, what about Mel’s Rockpile (early Matt Pond vehicle) or Dandelion or even The Barnabys (our own [...]

Terry meets Julie, Berks El station, every Friday night.
PhillySkyline: Welcome To Fishtown [slideshow]

>>> Newbie finds out the ugly truth about Inquirer home subscriptions: It’s where Kafka and frat-hazings meet. [PhillyFuture]
>>> As if our bowels and good names weren’t taxed enough: Hardee’s Thick Phillyburger, coming to an eat/masturbate/cry session near you. [Slashfood]
>>> Oh, and just, you know, FYI? We’re running out of gas. [ActionNews]

>>> Here’s the thing about all of these 420 Festivals that we’re seeing all kinds of listings for: They all look so sucky and sad. Weed may be a balm for many things, but if you’re booking a show and need inspiration, fucking forget about the wacky tabacky. Apparently, anyhow. So we’re not even linking [...]

Hot cumshot or not, we see enough pasty Philadelphian flesh as is.
CP: Locally-Flavored Cubicle Porn Is On The Way
Related: We Warn You Now
Related: The Internets Just Doesn’t Flatter Ya

PW: Let’s Send Shrek To The Pillow Fight!