VAI SIKAHEMA has mixed emotions about his nephew, “Napoleon Dynamite” star Jon Heder.
“I love him as a person. He’s a great kid,” the NBC-10 sports director told us yesterday. But, as his wife and kids howled with laughter while watching the movie, Vai says he “just didn’t get it.”
[…]
“My nephew Reno Mahe and a lot […]

>>>‘Hey Joisy, where do want me to put this super-deadly nerve gas? Right ‘ere?’ Will VX finally thin the Saturday Nite O.C. herd to level we can sustain? [Philly.com]
>>>Prague Spring for Philly agents of change? Or progressive grist for Johnny Doc’s Dem Machine chipper? [DN]
>>>How does a local college student’s lifeless body show up […]

Blue-eyed soul: As Philadelphians, it is both our blessing, and our curse. But seriously: Take a look at this motherfucker. Watch him go. His name is Jamie Lidell, and he’s playing at the First Unitarian Church tomorrow night. We have three pairs of tickets. To win, send an email to TIPS [at] PHILEBRITY [dot] COM […]

Lookit all da pretty horses!

Going through the morning gruel this morning, we couldn’t help but notice a curious item in an otherwise kinda bullshit story about how Erie Steel is now accusing Rick Mariano of not only taking bribes but also stealing from them outright. (Oh, what a wicked web we weave, right?) That’s just sour grapes, it seems, […]

>>> Webby Honoree (Dork!) Liz Spikol heads up to the Poke-yer-nose Mountains to pet her inner-dawg and hang with the last living old coots still swingin’ vintage wood over Jayne Mansfield, Pennsyltucky’s own Miss Brick Shithouse. We wanna read Part II where Miss Va-va-voom joins the Church of Satan with Sammy Davis Jr. — we […]

>>> Tune into WXPN at 9:30pm: The Capitol Years recorded an acoustic session featuring “Mirage People.” Attn. Non D. Plume, if you are out there: We totally took all your royalties and spent it on this sweet new bean bag.
>>> Are you sick of us sneaking Gilmore Girls into the picks yet? Tough shit. Tonight: […]

A stealthy enemy has infiltrated our country and is preying upon the hearts and minds of 33 million American teens. Corporations, media conglomerates, and purveyors of popular culture have spent billions to seduce and enslave our youth. So far, the enemy is winning. But there is plenty we can do. We need to take action. […]

Tom Stall: I’m here to make peace. Can I do anything to make things right?
Richie Cusack: You can do one thing.
[pauses]
Richie Cusack: You can die.
Aw yeah, that’s Philly.
Related: Brother Of Love Or Accidental Tourist? [Klein]
Previously: You And Me Got A History And I Don’t Like To Remember [Philebrity]

According to police, defendant Arnaldo Torres-Santiago (pictured above) and 16-year-old victim Omar Rodriguez had been arguing — possibly over who was tougher. Then Rodriguez apparently fell asleep. And at that point, police allege, Santiango shot him in the back of the head.
Bitchface over here is also making a strong showing in the Worst Ghetto Barbershop […]

Nobody on the radio can hear you screaming, and a tree falling in the woods still makes a sound even if nobody hears it. With this in mind, we introduce a new semi-recurring feature, NPR For The Deaf. To wit, all these things happened while your were sleeping or watching stoopid Tee-Vee:
>>> Joel Rose let […]

Quoth the auteur: “I came home from work one day to find this old guy standing in place, just shuffling his feet feet a few inches at a time, I asked if he needed help and he yelled at me to leave him alone and get away, so I went into my apartment on 16th […]

Girl you know it’s true: Spank Rock is the Baltimore booty-Urkel you wanna do. Here at Philebrity, we’ve been keeping tabs on Spank ever since he rocked Hollerween ‘04. And it gives us great pleasure to present to you his debut album, Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo in full this week on The Philebrity Player. […]

She told us this was coming, and for the longest time, like global warming, we ignored her. And we weren’t gonna say anything, BUT… For the last month or so, City Paper and Philebrity have been sharing an intern. (Eww, not like that, Grossbot!) And up until now, it’s kinda been the wife/mistress thing: We’d […]

As you read this, there’s a kind of hush all over the world this morning. And that hush is the Dave-less void we all live in now. That’s right, people, cringe with me: David Lee Roth has been replaced with Opie & Anthony. Now, while it’s true that Diamond Dave was neither funny nor interesting […]

>>>Canadian-based Inky/DN bidders Onex and Black Press are coming to town this week to check out the merchandise. Let’s do whatever it takes to get this bitch sold. Onex and Black Press? Sounds goth. Amanda, be sure and tell them you’re so goth you fart bats. And punch up the black eyeliner a few notches, […]

Citizen Mom (not pictured), who cleans house (and sometimes cleans clocks) here, digs into the briny bucket of PNI crabs and wrestles them in the boiling pot without ever getting her nose pinched. Read all about it after da jump.

>>> Sweat Heart have a video, oh yes they do. Shot by Ted Passion and remixed by Low Budget, it is for the following song:
Sweat Heart: “Fingerbangin’” [mp3]
Which, come to think of it, is the best song featuring a “Listening to Winger/make you come with my retard finger” rhyme scheme we’ve heard all day. See […]

Bloviating about the media’s pipes being backed up with PJ loads of bloggorhea, the old, white men of the Inky/Blinq/Attytood three-way have gotten themselves in a clusterfuck more pinchy than a live bucket of Bonks‘ best. All of this hullaballoo would be unnecessary if they would just frame the question properly. Instead of: Are blogs […]

¬? Number of secrets that Thrilladelphia managed to keep until the jump off: 4
¬? Saves that Robert Esche made for the bipolar Flyers like he had Wheaties for breakfast: 55
¬? Inches of rain that destroyed your Saturday, as Philadelphia finally hit it off with Mother Nature and banged her with desperation in your backyard, creating […]