Nice face-saving, little guy. But honestly: We’ve heard friggin’ grandmoms with better skillz than this shit.

>>> Still scratching your head about why there was no Espers/Stereolab double-team action in Philly while those hicks in the Midwest got just that? So are we. [PopMatters]
>>> Back from the dead: AMFM! [GloriousNoise]
>>> And yo, Neko Case knows what’s up: On page six of the new Entertainment Weekly subscribers-only insert Listen To This, they [...]

As Silk City gets ready to shut its doors, the Inky starts passing out the hankies. Today’s subject? Longtime Silk waitress Mary Kratofilow, who’s been working there since before you were born, hoss.
“I cry almost every day,” she says. “Oh God. Yeah. The guy that I’m dating, he’s like, ‘Mary, you’ve got to get [...]

>>> As part of the fifth estate, we here at Philebrity enjoy privileges not bestowed upon commoners. Among them? Getting to, every once in a while, touch the head and hair of Meg Baird, who is but one half of The Baird Sisters. The other half is Laura, and we’d lay good money that if [...]

Oh yes, it is real:
Pat’s vs. Geno’s Sculpture
Relive the long-standing rivalry of two historic eateries in Philadelphia. For years, people have disputed who makes the best Philly Cheesesteak, Pat’s or Geno’s. Each sculpture is crafted of cold-cast porcelain and hand painted with incredible detail.
Actual size is 3 3/4″ tall x 17 3/8″ wide [...]

Dear readers: Just a quick note to let you all know: Your humble editor is back, a little worse for wear and testy as ever. But he’s back. He’s sifting through tons of email today, but to clear up any confusion immediately, a few quick clarifications:
? No, I don’t have any idea why Valania felt [...]

during the finals of this world baseball classic business (cuba v.
japan) on espn right now, one of the announcers just spent a solid
minute talking about juan samuel and how he should have been the
phillie’s great brown hope. (my words not theirs.)
juan fucking samuel, espn prime time in 2006. go phillies.

More SXSW Post-Mortem: “Most of the Move to Philly bands had successful official SXSW showcases, though, as did Dr. Dog and National Eye, who packed a party Thursday for local label Park the Van, along with the Teeth, and Quentin Stoltzfus’ terrific indie pop band Mazarin, which filled up Buffalo Billiards, also Thursday. And plenty [...]

As you read this, Philebrity editor Joey Sweeney is currently speeding eastward in a van on his way back from Austin. (He’s in the van with the Capitol Years, even tho he initially departed with the National Eye, but then their van crapped out and he stuck his thumb out, and all we can say [...]

MIA since Friday. Presumed drunk, or worse. Jojo phone home. Developing…
Update: Oh, wait…Just moments ago, at the behest of the Philebrity Home Office, hotel security broke down the door to Jojo’s room, found him disoriented and covered in blood — kinda like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now — threw him in the shower, fed him [...]

Joey Sweeney reports: For months, it was all we thought about: Must rep Philly at SXSW. This is the year. This is the time. For we must.
And so we did. Mostly because we couldn’t believe nobody else was doing it already. This year, 23 Philly bands ó yes, 23 ó made the trek to South [...]

Are you in a Philly band and limping home on that rock n’ roll yellow brick road, that golden ribbon of highway that leads to Austin and the inevitable hook-up with fame and fortune that lies beyond? Did you breakdown or get busted? Sample the local virgins? Drink yourself gay and accidentally do Morrissey? Smoke [...]

Heading out to the Stereolab show on Monday? Dude! So are we! And after the show, we’ll be hanging in the newly refurbed balcony section of the TLA. If you’ve already got tickets to the show, RSVP to our Myspace and we’ll make sure you get a wristband. If not, get some. Stay tuned to [...]

Edelstein: With even retired Supreme Court justice (and Reagan appointee) Sandra Day OíConnor warning of the ìbeginningsî of a dictatorship, itís the perfect moment for the ridiculous but riotously enjoyable revolutionary comic-book thriller V for Vendettaówhich will doubtless outrage conservatives and unnerve fuddy-duddys but liberate the rest of us with its magisterial irresponsibility.[New York]
Vox [...]

You look maw-vellus! Really. That’s not even counting the 20 pounds and seven years that the Internet usually shaves off most eligible singles. Lady, you look just like a dude. In all honesty, the WTF? of drag kings (here’s one now, left) eludes us, even though sometimes we wish we were a pretty girl so [...]

Mother McCready!!!! Is it time to drink me own body weight in green Lite beer again? Saints be praised! They call ‘em Pig Irish, but don’t you do it or your likely to get a four-leafed fist in your pie hole. They’ve been out there since breakfast, decked out in emerald Mardi Gras beads and [...]

At the outset of an hourlong speech, [defense attorney] Tinari compared Mariano’s plight to that of Julius Caesar , and offered jurors an adaptation of Shakespeare ’s tragedy.
“You will recall three of his best friends took Julius Caesar over to the side… Brutus, Cassius, Antony. These three had in their mind to [...]