>>> Dan DeLuca’s top 5 local CDs of ‘05: What, no Trouble Everyday? Oh come on now, Kyle. We couldn’t resist. But seriously, Dan: You’re actually sleeping on Mazarin? Damn. [Inky]
>>> Likewise, Craig LaBan’s ‘05 Hall of Shame: Teaching the guys at Haru all about seppuku. [Inky]
>>> And finally, one reader points out the obvious [...]

Apparently ó and this is news to even us ó there is a court that will entertain your bullshit.
PHILADELPHIA (AP) - Dec. 21, 2005 - A federal jury awarded nearly $3 million in a racial-discrimination case to four white men fired by the Philadelphia School District.
But oh, wait! It gets better:
After Friday’s verdict, lawyer Carl [...]

Never mind the sixth borough claptrap: this Franklin defamation is tantamount to a shot across Philadelphia’s bow. Sneering at Franklin for being oh so “bourgeois” (whatever that really means anymore) is the result of the twentieth century intelligentsia’s turtlenecks being a tad too tight. Doubtless, they’d have loved him if an account was unearthed in [...]

>>> For some reason, it’s also majorly birthday party season ó†if human history has taught us anything, it’s that everybody seemingly has a stake in wanting to steal JC’s thunder ó†and the bday jam of the season might just be Kendra Gaeta’s Birthday Talent Show Extravaganza! Some of you might know Kendra (pictured) from her [...]

Take it from us: This whole Tuesday night game is no easy ride. And to do it with class and style, all while dropping the latest shit, like before it’s even released, just pushing that shit out into the ether whether the people want it or not? All the more difficult. So it’s with that [...]

You know it’s a good party when nothing survives: memory, evidence, food, love, you name it. Here is what we know: On Friday, we took on the bold task of throwing not one but two Christmas parties. The first was the Philebrity/Park The Van Records Christmas Office Party, which was grand little soiree held from [...]

Michael Klein reports that the collection of Andrew Wyeth up until recently held by The Brandywine River Museum has gone missin’. Not like anybody stole it, they just bought and are keeping it way, way on the downlow. Most notably gone from the area now are the Helga paintings, notable for their oddly prescient display [...]

>>> Attn. New York City: Your creative class is bleeding all over the place right onto us. Still. And it’s kind of gross. [NYT]
>>> Man Man: Misses the Top 50 singles of the year chart, but rocks the party anyway. [Pitchfork]
>>> And finally, Ron Artest: The stand-brawling, beer-throwing shit-talker in all of us wants him. [...]

See what you people did? Didn’t we tell you? It’s like this: Everytime you don’t stop shooting each other over totally trife drug shit, and it becomes this big news story, The Guardian Angels come back. Yes, with the berets. And that horrendous style of t-shirts over shirts and ties. This is a crime against [...]

[...] could change positions when they seemed unpopular, compromise on principles and turn statecraft into a matter of personality. When he achieved any post of power, he stuffed relatives into remunerative positions while proclaiming that public servants should expect no payment at all.
It must just be the water here. Seriously.
NYT: Ben Franklin Smackdown!

Friday:
>>>Holidays got ya down? Anxious over telling your family about your loss of job/coke addiction/pregancy during Christmas dinner? Fret not, dear drug addled readers! Philebrity has the cure to your yule tide depression! The Capitol Years will get this Christmas party started right with DJ’s Julie G. and Ron Morelli. It’s A Very Philebrity [...]

Do whatever you want, man, but please, please don’t take away the popcorn machine. It’s the only thing that keeps people awake when they’re doing comedy shows in there. (Click on picture to enlarge.)

And it doesn’t look good for The World’s Sexiest Combover:
The Penn’s Landing Corporation has chosen Planet Hollywood to try to develop the old incinerator site on Delaware Avenue into a slots parlor.
KYW: And You Thought Famous Dave’s Was White Trash.

I mean, just add up the bolds:
PHILLIES OUTFIELDER Jason Michaels was among a group of club-goers leaving a Blender magazine party at 32? when police officers told the group to disperse. Michaels copped a boxer’s stance and punched Officer Timothy Taylor, police said.
Any way you slice it, someone was gonna get punched.
DN: Party Monster

The long-suspected and dreaded Frankenfish explosion has finally become a reality. Somehow lost and confused, far from their native Asia, the fish have already started to excel in math and standardized tests. It is also rumored that they are horrible drivers.
Inky: Here Fishy Fishy Fishy

>>>Sorry, but you can count the awesome gay contributions to the pop pantheon of the last 25 years on like one hand. Let’s see, there’s Rufus Wainright, there’s, um, Dead or Alive and Pet Shop Boys and Magnetic Fields, there’s, um, wait, is Elton John gay? He is? OMG! And don’t even get us started [...]

Alright, people, it’s truth-tellin’ time: All of these holiday parties you’re going to this week and next are going to be work. Because it’s work to not wanna smack that bitch from HR. It’s work to weather all the questions from friends you haven’t seen and try to get across how totally not fucked up [...]

And speaking of all things 700, you might be wondering: What in the Sam Hill ever happened to Chad Brown, The Lonesome Cowboy? Why, time was, this gun-slingin’ country and western DJ was out nearly every week, doin’ lasso tricks, showing Westerns and generally living in the service of promoting the cowboy way. Well, Chad [...]

For years, we have wondered: Are The 700 Club staff and regulars some new secret breed of Masons? Sure, we have done time in there ó quite a bit and quite more than just “time,” frankly ó but the strange codification of the annual “700 Awards” have both mystified and beguiled even us. The city’s [...]

>>> Sixth-borough part deux: This time, it’s on video. We spied with our little eyes something called NY Times TV trolling around the city yesterday. Could a video segment on Collingswood-as-the-new-Hoboken be far behind?
>>> The Rocky Balboa Blog: Too bad there’s no single character for “ugh” on this keyboard. [Via BellaVista Social Club]
>>> Attention overcompensating [...]