Breaking: City Hall To Turn Into ‹ber-Gay Space Alien Gingerbread House At Sundown
You read it here first, Earth Citizens. According to sources close to City Hall, Mayor John Street has made a secret patronage deal with a “French light-saber gypsy posse” otherwise assumed to be space aliens from the planet Gaywad. In exchange for one million Earth dollars and, for some unknown reason, a clump of Lynne Abraham‘s hair, the “Frenchies” (as they are known around City Hall) have promised to turn the nation’s largest city building into “a wonderland of Cosby sweater joy,” according to one insider. Meanwhile, if the city does not pay up, they have threatened to do it anyway. At any rate, in the words of our own belated Minister of Space Sun Ra, “Kiss your ass goodbye. Now whatcha gonna do without your ass?”
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