SPECIAL EDITION: Dead Is The New Awesome
Ok, so, last night we had Monster Mash-Up: Philebrity’s Halloween Jam at Silk City. We were kind of shitting our pants that no one was gonna show up, but then we remembered that we had something the world had apparently never seen before: mummy strippers. What happened next was a Halloween miracle: Hundreds of you ó ok, well, like maybe 200 of you ó showed up and got drunker than drunk and ghoulier then ghouls. So thank you.
Photos and commentary after the jump. DISCLAIMER: Some of these photos will only be work safe if you work in a place where everyone is cool with electrical tape on titties. So, you know: Be cool.
Go ahead. Make the “butt pirate” joke. This guy has been waiting for it all night. Go ahead. Do it.
Babies having babies. Bonkers crunk wear-a-bikini-and-high-heels-to-Hollertronix babies.
These guys are going to start a band, and it’s going to be called Buggle King.
Shit happens, man.
DJ Ron Morelli looks all serious and shit, but what you can’t hear is the song that he’s playing right now. It goes: “ASS AND TITTIES! ASS AND TITTIES! ASS AND TITTIES! ASS AND TITTIES!”
“So first, I let that girl do shitty Edie Brickell graffiti all over Sweeney’s wall, and then, for an encore, I killed a bunch of Penn kids! Does it get any better than this?”
Gerhardt HiSoft and Kara Crombie: Piney woods trash to the bone.
Burger King and Strawbloody Bloodcakes: They miss raves.
All of these costumes are really cute, but the way the chick on the far right tapped into her inner Courtney Love was just seriously frightening. “KURRRRRRT! BRING ME SOME MORE TOBLERONE!”
The Lampshade: It’s a perfect way to hide a gooey pus-infested eye sty.
Laura BewitchedBy as Princess Leia: We always got more of a Margot Kidder vibe from her, but whatever.
Stacy Relay as the Miller High Life lady: Now appearing on one thousand ill-advised tattoos.
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really doooooooooooooo. And now, some mummy strippers:
This is exactly how Lewis & Clark felt. They were like, “Yo, we are totally living history. We’re making it as we speak!”
Metaphor soup!
TT Creed: Seriously the nastiest thing you could ever put in your coffee.
This is the part when Ricky Coldhands just started shouting crazy stuff about reverse racism and how now that he got indicted he was gonna jump off of City Hall right into Questlove’s fro and… whoops, wrong Ricky! Here we go:
Somewhere there is like one straight edge fan left of The Yah Mos Def and he is so angry he’s cutting himself.
And we’re like, “Haha! You’re straight edge!”
Eat burgers! Don’t do drugs! Peace out!
Special thanks to The Yah Mos Def, Ron Morelli, Silk City and everyone who came out. Extra love goes to Jessica and Jessa: The World’s First Mummy Strippers, and Brutal Ruth and Grand S(l)am for their spooky costumery. Next Halloween, we promise: Candy corn buttplugs for everybody, OK?
