?†Yes, we really did find some girls to be Mummy Strippers, and yes, they are totally hot.
? This is all the more exciting when you remember that The Yah Mos Def have never seen naked girls.
? DJ Ron Morelli of Reagan Disko Headache has a moustache that simultaneously limits his Halloween costume options, and yet [...]

>>> More body-burning in the new body-burning capitol of the world. Beanie-related? Who knows. I just wish we lived in the body butter capitol of the world. Yum. Body butter. [NBC10]
>>> Ben Franklin invented the Jersey Devil. This is the kind of hard-hitting reportage you’re really gonna miss when all that’s left is the Metro. [...]

Over the last few days, we’ve been hearing from a lot of you, dear readers, about our position regarding the SEPTA strike. Some of you have been pro, and some of you have been con. But as the mail ó and the debate ó heats up, it might help for us clarify our position. It’s [...]

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Federal Appeals Court Judge Samuel Alito. As I stand here on the steps of the Supreme Court, Lord, I know today that I am never going to make it in there. Why? Well, some might say it’s my love of unborn fetuses and others might say that it’s because [...]

Since when did Halloween merge with April Fool’s Day?
EMBATTLED City Councilman Rick Mariano’s got at least one famous name pulling for him.
Yes frontman Jon Anderson.
[..]“As I’ve said to a friend who’s been through a dark tunnel four or five times, ‘If you can just keep going, you’ll eventually get through,’ ” Anderson says. “And [...]

THE NIGHT security guard at an Army Corps of Engineers building near Fort Mifflin was watching his security monitors in the hours before dawn on Wednesday when he saw two uniformed Philadelphia police officers receiving oral sex from what the guard said looked like a male prostitute.
The cops were parked behind the Corps of Engineers [...]

And what does it all come down to? A five percent co-pay.
Ron Koran, president of Local 1594, which represents about 320 suburban bus and trolley operators, said he also favored the percentage-of-pay approach to healthcare contributions, but SEPTA is ìstill stuck on the 5 percent co-pay,î he said. ìWeíre not willing to agree to [...]

Are you ready to be SPOOKIFIED? Well, then, you better get ready, baby. Philebrity and Eastern State Penitentary are teaming up, right here, right now, to give away 4 pairs of passes to see “Terror Behind The Walls”, which, if you’ve never heard or haven’t been, is some supremely scarifying shit. (Check out the ghoulicious [...]

Oh yes, there will be blood. And mummy strippers.

>>> Curiously, a bunch of you wrote in to report on the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Katrina Benefit the other night at The TLA. Reviews went like this, mostly: “Band great. Sound sucked. OOGA BOOGA!” Meanwhile, The BM Rant gets all exhaustive about it like it was Isle of Wight or some shit. [The [...]

Friday:
>>> What the fuck is this shit? No Hollerween? Big mistake, brahs. But nobody should get their panties in too much of a twist about it, as Low B, Cocaine Waterslide, Dan The Swede, Emynd and Bo Bliz will be getting crunker than Bushwick Bill’s underthings at Child’s Play at The Parlor. (Broad and Federal) [...]

“The councilman will not be speaking,” Tinari repeated yesterday after television and newspaper photographers captured his slow shuffle to a waiting minivan at 3:45 p.m.
“It has been made plain to him that his speaking does not advance his cause.”
DN: The New Strong “Silent” Rick Mariano

Let’s let a reader make the joke:
He’s worse than that blueberry farmer.
Not bad, little guy. Not bad at all.
Raj World: Like Omarosa’s World, Except… HANDSOMER!
Advancerepublic.org: Running The “Crazy Ex-Reality Star” Platform Since Summer ‘05!

From: REDACTED
Date: Thu Oct 27, 2005 5:10:17 PM US/Eastern
To: tips@philebrity.com
Subject: RTM gives the boot
Whatever dude. Yeah, it sucks these guys got the boot. But they didn’t generate business, which means they probably weren’t GOOD. You have to seriously fuck up not to make money in that place. Have you ever eaten anything from Braverman’s? [...]

Oh my God. Look at that picture. A blast from the past, huh? Remember when that was the fucking future? Man, it feels like light years ago. Alright, confession time: Julie G. used to have a riot grrl fanzine. Come to think of it, shit, so did Serota. (No, we don’t have copies of them, [...]

From Suicide Girls:
David Reilly, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, producer, and former vocalist for the band God Lives Underwater, died Sunday at the age of 34 from complications of long-standing stomach problems.
Myspace: Dave Sherman’s Blog
Related: GLE Messageboard
MusicForRobots: MP3 and Links
Blabbermouth.net: Obit And Release
Local Music Network: Remembering Reilly

As we rapidly approach 1,500 posts on this site, regular readers will not be shocked to hear that about 900 of them concern Lord Whimsy. Why, you may wonder? Whimsy gets to the heart of the “noble” part of our noble-savage soul. He’s no stranger to feathers. He listens to Felt, and he rides a [...]

>>> Ladies and gentlemen, it is Philebrity’s proud pleasure to give out the first-ever Philebrity Award For Ridiculous, 1998-esque Boneheaded “Interactivity” to The Verizon Dream Incubator. Thousands of years of human progress and technological advancement has led us to precisely this moment: A woman on South Street sitting at a desk in an empty storefront [...]

Echoing our sentiments exactly, CP comes clean on the looming SEPTA strike:
I know, I know: You thought this was an eatin’ town.
And it is. SEPTA wants you to swallow this crap by the pound.
How Philebrity of them to take it there. Ew!
CP: This Is A Poopin’ Train, And I’m A Defecating, Inept Mass Transit [...]

Well, not really. But after doing research on their “tenant mix,” Terminal management says the following are dead weight: Braverman’s Bakery, The Sandwich Stand, Tokyo Sushi Bar, Franks-A-Lot, A.A. Halteman Poultry and Meat, and Nomad Trading Co. Sez Bill Dellarata of the Sandwich Stand:
[...] management told him, “We just no longer want you here.”
“After 20 [...]