You can put it back in your pants, Romeo. It seems Balls’ funbags may not be all they’re cracked up to be. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Friday, August 19, 2005 —– On Friday, August 19, 2005, www.philebrity.com released a blurb about Miss Jenny Balls and her recent uprising of “competitive” events. The article refers to Miss [...]

Friday: >>>Our man Doyle makes his Bottom of the Hudson debut tonight at The Khyber. >>>Like, duh, we already told you: [Click] with those Simian Mobile Disco DJs is gonna be the jumpoff. >>>Pitchfork darling Alec Ounsworth can’t get enough of the solo dude-with-guitar gig thing. Tonight he plays live for the folks at Le [...]

Yes, yes, Terrell Owens and the people who love to talk about him bore the living shit out of us, but you know, sometimes kids really do say the darnedest things. My mom told me that the Eagles gave you over 9 million dollars last year and that you can afford to buy your own [...]

Well, we think it’s pretty fair to say that Jessica Pressler has weathered more hatin’ and fussin’ than any other Philadelphian this week, save for maybe Susanna Goihman, and she actually killed somebody. Allegedly. Anyway, since Pressler’s now-infamous NYT piece last Sunday has given the Philly hate-osphere so much this week, we figured we’d give [...]

Our friends over at Rachel Inc. are always sending us these emails: Jenny Balls is doing this, Jenny Balls is doing that. Mostly, “this” or “that” is loosely translated to “bringing her boobs out at a party/in a magazine/etc.” Which, you know, is a good thing to know about, I guess. But lately, we’ve noticed [...]

Big changes afoot at our esteemed editor’s alma mater, St. Joe’s University. Seems that the long-in-coming acquisition of the Episcopal Academy has finally gone through. All told, SJU expands by a whopping 38 acres in this deal, some of which will surely be taken up by adventurous new projects like The Joey Sweeney Memorial Beer [...]

>>> You know, you don’t have to be a dance music insider like Nick Sylvester to enjoy the soundz of Josh Wink, who’ll be busting out his CaseLogics tonight at this Paper-Street thing at Haru, which is that crazy awesome-looking new construction on 3rd near Market, next to St. Jack’s. Before you go, please remember [...]

Well, it’s been coming, and finally, someone’s getting pragmatic: What the hell is going to happen to millions of Joe Sixpacks when their favorite stripper heckler picks up his blocks and goes to satellite radio next winter? Apparently, they’re in for what promises to be a wild rollercoaster ride as station after station scrambles to [...]

Boy, the ol’ Cap’n is on a major Agnew/Pianka roll this week. Here’s today’s bit-o-sunshine. This Friday, Click returns to Fluid with its usual brew ó the difference this time around being that they’re also packing Simian Mobile Disco, the DJ wing of the insanely underrated kooky English band Simian. (Click on flyer for full [...]

Because he’s not afraid to sneak up on Josh Wink‘s CD cases ó†I know! CD cases! Hahahaha ó and get the real story: Things start slow. Wink starts drumming on his Case Logic for ideas, giving glimpse to his organizational methods: “Acid House,” “February 2005,” “Euro-Trance,” “Trance-House March 2005,” etc. These weren’t tracks, they were [...]

>>> “Damaged goods” doesn’t even quite describe it: The very timely ó almost too timely ó†sale of Azafran. >>> Liberties Walk drops its first Deuce. (And apparently, it doesn’t stink!) >>> And finally, Southwark: A restuarant named after a housing project.

Number of references to Jessica Pressler: 2 Total number of “sixth borough” jokes: 3 Plugs of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah: 3 Photos of Jude Law’s penis: 0 Trouble Everyday jokes: 1 Results and forecast: More Pressler with a strong chance of seriously hammering the whole 6B thing into the ground by the end of [...]

>>> It’s beautiful outside right now, and tell the truth, wouldn’t it feel fucking great to stand up with moms and dads and sons and daughters and chant down Cokey McWarsalot and his bloodgreedy super-freaky end times fetish? You can do just that at the Cindy Sheehan Vigil at Liberty Lands. >>> As mentioned before, [...]

Let’s do this! Philebrity and R5 Productions are giving away two pairs of tickets to see Clap Your Hands Say Yeah at the First Unitarian Church tonight with Magnolia Electric Co This show is way, way sold out, and errrrbody and they moms wants to go. Bearing that in mind, you can only win this [...]

>>> Someone who wants to remain anonymous (even to us) wants the world to know that “Clap Your Hands Say Yeah will be signing to 4AD in the very near future, and will eventually open up for the Pixies in Japan.” While this is certainly not implausible, the delivery method makes us think this could [...]

This just in: A Flickr page of photos from Monday’s first installment of Hit The Deck, the new weekly jam with Dan The Swede at, we shit you not, Cavanaugh’s River Deck. Apparently, Monday night went so well ó and jeez, the weather was seriously beautiful ó†that next week, the Lords of Cav are offering [...]

The Philadelphia Stock Exchange announced Tuesday that Citigroup Inc., Credit Suisse First Boston, Morgan Stanley and UBS AG have each invested in the exchange and could end up being among six financial firms that would own nearly 90 percent of the institution. Somehow, we kinda wanna credit Pressler for this, too. Yahoo: Big Philly Style

As some of you may be aware, Johnny Brenda‘s has been building a performance space above the existing bar. They want to provide an alternative to the Khyber with a top-notch venue that focuses on promoting local music while attracting mid-sized national acts. They are almost done with construction and the first of several zoning [...]

Or so says Mumia scribe Dave Lindorff. Lindorff, who probably won’t be eating at Geno’s anytime soon, has been trying for years to get somethink on the op-ed page of the Inky. Not to bang his drum about He Who Shall Remain Guilty-ish, but you know, more for shits and giggles. It’s his hometown paper [...]

>>> Philly real estate: officially bananas. Thanks, Pressler! >>> M. Night: actually putting decent actors in his next movie. >>> Chaka Fattah: Our next mayor? I feeel for you.