>>> Like your men cuckoldy and in stripes? Then get thee down to This Many Boyfriends, the new twee-pop DJ night hosted by Cool Doug and Neal Ramirez, where you’ll have your pick of pussies to push around to the oddly tough-sounding strains of Orange Juice and Unrest. 10pm, Silk City.
>>> In some weird twist […]

You know you want it.

Which seems wildly out of character, don’t you think?
Defense lawyers contend that their clients did nothing improper and that the crimes alleged are common business practices in Philadelphia.
Oh, well then, in that case, we guess there’s nothing to talk about.
DN: No Talkie! No Talkie!

Better known as Dr. Donald D. Rose, the Philly radio legend passed on in California yesterday.
Billlboard: Obit
Related: Randy Roberts’ Reel Radio Collection

From last week’s editorial meeting:
“And guess what! SOME OF THEM EVEN WORK WITH MEXICAN PATIENTS!”
“Wait, Mexicans are minorities, right?”
“Well, they are in every place except Mexico, I guess.”
“Holy shit! Does this thing have legs, or what! Let’s bump the Jerry Blavat cover and crank this baby out straight away.”
PW: Keystone Press Awards, Here We Come!
Related: […]

Oh, those silly size queens at the Inquirer are having the classic dilemma: Is it width, or is it length? I guess they’ll find out when they switch to the ol’ Coke-can tabloid format. What?
Attytood: Cue Up The Knee-Jerk Reaction From The Daily News, Phyllis!
Editor&Publisher: Press Tab Key To Destroy

Penn Law students expecting an Easter egg hunt found more than just chocolate hidden throughout the Law School last Thursday. They discovered plastic eggs filled with “insulting” and “juvenile” cartoons that mocked Jesus, according to Law School officials.
You KNEW this would happen!
DP: Fanks Easter Bunny! Bok! Bok!

>>> Big, big edition of Stay Loose tonight: Fresh off their crazy worldish tour, welcome back favorite sons Swearing At Motorists. They’ll be DJing with host Joey Sweeney, and the usual drink specials apply. The Khyber, 9pm, free.
>>> Meanwhile, Sex Dwarf is back at Fluid. This month’s theme? LADIES OF THE ’80s. Damn. DJs Robert […]

Underage drinking is ultimately responsible for the Easter Sunday shooting in Bensalem that left a man dead and another man critically wounded, Bucks County District Attorney Diane Gibbons said.
The underage drinking party that took place shortly before the shooting at the Wawa on Lincoln Highway will be prosecuted as aggressively as the shooting itself, she […]

Editor Kevin Williamson says the paper was not published due to the Good Friday holiday and says “there are no truth to the rumors we’ve stopped publishing.”
As for the payday problem, Williamson, a former editor of the Main Line Times said “I really don’t see myself answering those sorts of internal business questions with you […]

“A peek into the Joint’s new Tuesday karaoke night - the Long Island-bred Bermanator in his teal Pumas croaking vintage Billy Joel; Gertler’s brother, Adam, taking a break from his chef duties to wear a top hat and wheeze “Brown Sugar” on the harmonica; and some brave patron unleashing a Vegas-worthy rendition of the theme […]

The daughter of an Alzheimer’s patient asked a Bucks County judge today to enforce her father’s living will and prevent doctors from inserting a feeding tube, despite her mother’s requests that they do so.
Mariann Judith Clunk of Hatboro filed suit against her father’s doctors and health-care facilities last week when she learned that her mother […]

Q: What is not Craigslist, not Monster, not designed, really, and also, like, kind of not cool, either?
A: Oodle. Something so patently 1998 that we’re tempted to bust out those Fatboy Slim 12-inches and show you what’s up.
PhillyOodle: Here’s What’s _________

>>> See this guy? He’s got more scene points than you, your band, your friend who fills in at Click, his girlfriend, AND her crochet friends put together. He’s “Wild” Kyle Andrews and he’s super rad; he’s also been on the scene since Dave P was in short pants and a.d. amorosi’s whole Fields Of […]

Say, a five-month run ain’t bad for a paper that had a hijacked name, circulation that only reached the small-yet-powerful I-own-a-vanity-newspaper demographic, and a business plan that was, in its proprietor’s own words, nonexistent. So, you know, Bulletin employees weren’t shocked when they found out that last Friday’s paper was, uh, “cancelled.” Oh, and that […]

Sometimes we wish the FBI never even put it together who John Street is.
A Seventh-Day Adventist, Street jotted down ideas for sermons (”Christianity is not a spectator sport”), as well as sayings (”You can’t always follow the path. Sometime you must blaze a trail”). He reflected on middle age (”Felt like I was running with […]

>>> “Dude, fucking whatever. It’s so obvious that she like totally loves me or has issues or something.”
>>> “Honey, while eBay was down, I just noticed that our marraige was falling apart. Whoops! Ebay’s back up! TTYL!”
>>> “Silence, please. I’m about to let my misery destroy all syntax until we are a crumbly mess of […]

Too much shit to mention here. Get it sneaky style after the jump.

Some one who doesn’t know the difference between “depressed” and “most likely to bite your face and pull, pull, pull” just nominated Philly as the “most depressed” city in the U.S. of A. Which ignores the most obvious fact: We seceded from the United States some time during the Rizzo administration.
Washington Times: Obviously Looking To […]