But we don’t think it can see you screaming into your steering wheel as you white-knuckle it every morning straight into the seventh circle of hell: The Northeast.
Inky: Red Light, Green Light

Remember we told you how Todd Carmichael, owner of La Colombe, was having some crazy mid-life crisis shit that forced him to walk over the tundra for like days on end? Well, guess what! Motherfucker actually lived through it. Damn.
JGT: How do you fight off dehydration when everything freezes immediately?
Todd: You just melt snow. Your [...]

>>> Oh, nepotic gods! Please forgive us, but we are so into Stay Loose. Tonight’s guest DJs: All-girl meth-rockers Beat Jams, turning up much cowbell and rollerskate featherjams. Meanwhile, vid-artist Kara Crombie projects her stuff on the big back wall. Free, Upstairs at The Khyber. $2 Sparks and $1 High Life from 9-11pm.
>>> Meanwhile, DJ [...]

“Everything hurts,” she moaned, “like the hair on my head. My fingernails hurt.” Her poor arches had fallen as much as her spirits.
With 18 hours to go.
Inky: Thick State College Jawns!
Hollertronix: Thick Philly Jawns!
Discuss!

>>> How the fuck is this for representing? Need New Body are playing the headlining day of All Tomorrow’s Parties†with Slint.† Right after Mogwai.
>>> Oh, and Swearing At Motorists are also playing some Tsunami benefit. In Berlin.
>>> But seriously? Nothing beats pulling the Polish dude’s finger.

Watch as Pat Berkery, by proxy, pledges the Inky’s love for white parents forevermore!
Parents, I went on a little reconnaissance mission at the Electric Factory Saturday night, and I’m happy to report that your teenage daughters are safe with 22-year-old lightweight pop star Ryan Cabrera.
Mom and Dad, spring will be a little early this year.
Inky: [...]

A: I don’t know, you douche, because apparently, even the dead rock Ticketmaster.
Philebrity’s Greatest Hits: Ron White Gone Wild!

Jesus. You whining bitches. Philebrity will return tomorrow.

Not sure how abreast of the Jeff Gannon story everyone is, but dear God, it is AMAZING. Here’s the even more amazing part: Dude apparently used to suck dick for pay… in Philly! Says one satisified customer:
We got together and we talked for a short time. BD [BullDog, Jeff's manwhore name - Ed.] is a [...]

Shit happens. Posting, including weekend picks and other stuff you should know, will resume shortly. [Image courtesy Too Black For BET]

Check out Lorraine Gennaro’s run-down of black Philly nightlife in the ’30s.
SPR: Oldfolksertronix!

So says Michael Klein:
Philly’s Olive Dance Theatre and Goodie Goodie Productions are mounting a dance-theater piece based on the so-called back-to-nature group that engaged authorities in two deadly confrontations.
Paging Rae Dawn Chong! This Ramona Africa role could put you right back on track!
Klein: MOVE’s The Meat That Puts Asses In Seats!

Last week, a reader wrote in that Avant Garde — the soup Nazi of Philly cab companies — was closing shop and selling their cars to a bigger shop. Not so fast. In today’s CP, an article about changing cab regulations reveals Avant Garde to be not only alive and well, but also fully capable [...]

And so the inevitable has happened: The FBI releases reams of details about the Street probe, only to have our illustrious mayor re-iterate what so many Jerry Springer guests have said before: “Y’All Don’t Know Me! Y’All Don’t Know How I Live!”
Inky: City For Sale!

Kia Gregory puts on her Encyclopedia Brown t-shirt and tries to see whether the DN has it in for The Cos. Her reasoning: Doesn’t it feel like The People Paper is a little bit too all over Bill Cosby’s every mis-step these days? The answer: Cos’s lawyers say yes, but everyone else is like, “No, [...]

Apparently, for reasons too vague or boring to really get into, that little quip above was enough to get NBC-10 blabpiece Monique Braxton suspended for a few days. The target of her haterism? Harry Hairston. Maybe. Or it could just be a bum rap. But here’s the thing. No one cares. Even us. Why are [...]

It’s been a while since we’ve just thrown out some non-Philly fun-ter-nets, so since we just got some semi-exclusive Beck stuff, let us ponder: Are we ready for the rebeckturn of Beck? Check his new video:
“Ghettochip Malfunction” [Hell Yes 8 bit remix/Real]
“Ghettochip Malfunction” [Hell Yes 8 bit remix/Windows]
And while we are at it, here’s a [...]

>>>Oh baby, feel that sweet nepotism flow! Stay Loose is back tonight with special guest DJs Espers lay down scary Italian prog and much, much mellowness. How that will go down with the $2 Sparks/$1 High Life special, we know not, but there’ll be plenty of fingerpickin’ records on hand just in case. 9pm, free, [...]

So apparently, the Dunkin Donuts at 16th and Sansom
does not have enough room to make their own donuts,
which is, in itself, unremarkable. Presumably they do
make their own coffee. Anyway, they get their stock of
donuts from down the block at the Suburban Station
branch. Aside from the putrid thought of donuts made
in the bowels of Suburban Station, [...]

City Paper’s Scene And Heard blog gives our Friday night throwdown a giant raspberry. Philebrity provides the answer key below.
Lovers Rock
Metro Lounge ó Feb 11, 2005
Can somebody explain to me what the fuck happened here? Was this a joke? (1) Eight dollar stolis? (2) A bunch of fucking swingers sitting at the bar, turning their [...]