Breaking: Philebrity Sucks!
City Paper’s Scene And Heard blog gives our Friday night throwdown a giant raspberry. Philebrity provides the answer key below.
Lovers Rock
Metro Lounge ó Feb 11, 2005
Can somebody explain to me what the fuck happened here? Was this a joke? (1) Eight dollar stolis? (2) A bunch of fucking swingers sitting at the bar, turning their heads whenever more people walk through the door? (3) Hurrydate assholes telling me I should do Hurrydate because ìthereís a girl at the bar who used to skateboard and now sheís a grad student I think you guys would hit it off in four minutes hey hey hey,î ostensibly a good match because (a) Iím wearing a sweatshirt and (b) also wearing glasses? (4) Dudes wearing khakis and rolling up their undershirts? Girls with the same fucking lean-back two-step for Joy Division and the fucking Percolator? By far the worst DJ sets evah? Come the fuck on, you have everybody on the floor for ìDeceptaconî and then you blow it with fucking what was it? Same thing happens twenty minutes later when everybodyís psyched for ìGalangî and then you drop, what the fuck was that, a Toni Braxton reggaeton remix? Did Nick or Dave even show up for this? (5) Do you realize that the highlight of the party was that a girl who had a shirt that looked exactly like the cover of Ricardo Villalobosí The Au Harem Díarchimede? And she kept dancing so it looked like it was this album, dancing? (6) Eight dollar stolis? (7)
óNick Sylvester
[Answer key: 1. Yes, it was kind of a joke. We wanted to throw the cheesiest party we could think of, and Metro Lounge was more than happy to (unwittingly) oblige. 2. We don't know about those $8 Stolis, but we made sure that the $2 Sparks and High Lifes flowed like blood from the River Jordan. 3. Don't hate swingers. They just want love. 4. The Hurrydate people were only trying to get you laid, Sylvester. Did you not realize what kind of party this was? 5. Nick Catchdubs indeed did show up and rocked it. Dave P, waylaid by circumstances out of his control, did not. We'll make it up to you all somehow, someway. 6. Look at you, with the fancy reference! That's gotta be knockin' 'em dead at Pitchfork, boss! 7. Who the fuck still drinks Stoli anyway?]
CP: Scene And Heard
