And he’s right. They don’t. But they will once he drags his newly bionic ass onto the field for some seriously evil painful SuperBowl face-saving. Damn.
Inky: All T.O., All The T.O. Time

Witness the old style Byko reactionary leg-hump, back in action for ‘05!
I am writing this - a losing battle, I fear - because the John Streets and Michael Nutters of this world won’t stop at bars, restaurants, enclosed spaces and private clubs. Smoking next will be banned on the streets and parks.
Next stop: Your home. [...]

Great Caesar’s Ghost, it’s an Iggles Bonanza today! This just in from way-on-top-of-it Gail Shister:
Desperate Housewives’ Sheridan and the creator of the hit ABC show, Marc Cherry, who also wrote the skit, believe the pairing of a black man and a white woman was a factor in the intensity of the response. They were “stunned” [...]

Hundreds — no, tens — of years from now, when the aliens are doing recon work, wondering how they were able to consume our brains so easily, so completely, so dispassionately, they may come across a CD-R with this on it. It will tell them nothing. And, in a way, it will tell them everything.

In 1999, indie-rock band DiskothiQ put out two albums of songs about NFL football teams, one for each conference. If you’re like me and just about ready to rip out the tongues of anyone singing that friggin’ Eagles Victory Song, maybe hearing this one will help rally your inner green beast.
DiskothiQ — “Eagles” [mp3]
Album available [...]

Ticketmaster must have released more tickets today because I just got six tickets to Monday’s Arcade Fire show.. Please let all the hipsters know they should stop shelling out $80 for a pair off of CraigsList and try to get them at a decent price ($12, $17 with the goddamn service charge).

Done and done. While [...]

Image courtesy Will We Ever Win?, who are far more qualified than us to weigh in on such things.

>>> Staring the paint off the walls by now? Gather up your wings and fly over to Junogi, where DJ Homeschool is laying down indie/psych/garage at Freaks And Geeks at The Manhattan Room.
>>> Or, get weird — and we mean really weird — with Golden Ball (pictured) and The Future Tips at Silk City. Look [...]

Somehow, it seems like getting your panties in a bunch over a group of gay rappers (mis)approriating your logo seems like more of an Eddie Van Halen thing and less of, say, an Alex Van Halen thing. We’re not gonna bring even bring Diamond Dave into this one: Surely he, if anyone, must be aware [...]

In an act of largesse that frankly reminds us of the U.S.’s unbegrudging and wildly generous initial offer to the tsunami victims, PhillyMag has actually posted a few of its current articles online. Surely, we are not worthy! Is this some kind of tease? But why? In any case, here’s Jason Fagone’s actually kind-of-good article [...]

[Photo courtesy Mithras]
So how was it? Are you dug out yet? Are you like us, and like, totally ready to continue the all-indoors eating/drinking/fucking/doing drugs/sleeping? We hear ya. Send us your best snow pics, and we’ll find something good to give to the person with the most awesometastical snowtography. You know where: tips@philebrity.com.
PhillyFuture: Everything You [...]

As Frump Nation blogging goes, Philly more and more is proving that we are the Superbowl of sweatpants punditry. And Miss Thing, there is a new frumpette on the block: This Ellen Gray/Daily News blog has more pissy points than a Jennifer Weiner BlogCon. Witness her death-defying high point this week: Bitching about Paris Hilton [...]

34th Street! Oh, those Penn kids just can’t seem to get anything right. (Except, of course, the “Ooh, Look! Black People!” angle.) See if you can read this, and not wake up and have it be five o’clock on Sunday.
34th Street: Sawin’ Wood, Gettin’ Credits

Friday:
>>> This weekend presents an interesting conundrum: We all know it’s going to snow, we all want the snow, we are all just going wild for the snow, and yet, here’s your old pal Philebrity, just standing around with its dick in its hand, still saddled with the charge of acting like you’re NOT looking [...]

You didn’t? Come on! For the last 18 months, something at the core of Bill Cosby’s soul has been flashing and careening in hot red neon: “THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS GOING BATSHIT! UNRAVELLING! YES, THE COS! YES, ME! CUCKOO!”
A law enforcement source said tonight that the woman claims Cosby drugged her, touched her breasts, and [...]

On one hand, we’re all for anything that taps into our own secret crossdresser, and wigs are always good for a larf, but honestly: This is pinging some serious “flash mob” memories, and that is never cool. On the other hand, wig sex is never bad: It’s like you’re getting a new honey without all [...]

Oh yes. It’s real: A petition to Geffen Records to drop Ashlee Simpson, and for her to, in essensce, never sing a note again. This would be a hell of a lot cooler if it came from actual teenage girls rather than, say, one hundred thousand Jonathan Valanias.

This is funny for a lot reasons and not a single one of them in good taste.
Related: Capitol Years Rock Israel!

Seriously, Inky: Are you motherfuckers even trying over there?

Seems like Weedman is gettin’ a break:
For Forchion, this is a massive relief. Though he didn’t test positive for marijuana once during his probation, he said there was no way he was going to stop smoking the “sacrament.” And because of that, he said he figured he’d ultimately pay for it. The appellate process is [...]