Y’all be careful out there tonight, ‘mkay? Philebrity will be back in 2005 and bolder than ever.

It’s true: The Coalition Of The Swilling are back on Broad this Saturday, from Oregon Ave. up to Washington. And then a bus (no word yet on exactly how short) will come and take these fine specimens of humanity all the way into Center City. Yay.
South Philly Review: Yo! We’re Bajdkfjbsvkljfblvsfdbv Back!

Tired of your old style of self-congratualory/self-stalking methods of vanity search? Fables of the Reconstruction explains what Google Suggest is all about.

So much boldface! So little of actual interest.
MK: Nice Up The Foodie Dance!

After shooting its hot black oily wad all over us and leaving us to scramble in the morning for Texas Tea equivalent of RU487, The Athos I is leaving Philly’s large, welcoming vagina, I mean, port. So far, here’s the tally.
Miles of shore still affected: 57.
Gallons spilled: Unknown, but as many as 473,500.
Condoms worn: None, […]

Here at Philebrity, we treat NYE in the fashion that time has taught us: It’s fucking amateur night. Too many people, too many people you don’t wanna see, too hard to get around. Lest we sound like a bunch of whiners, know two things: We’ll feel a lot better when we’re spreading psychedelic mushrooms on […]

No, seriously. The People Paper is appealing to its stoned-losers contingent today with it’s own little version of “Dude, Where’s My Year?” Suspiciously absent from the quiz is the following question:
Why is John Street continuing to let our city shrink back into its former ’80s Eastern-Bloc self?
A. Too much office time spent looking at Russian […]

This is not surprising, really. After all, that “typewriter” sound you always hear in the background is actually the sound of furious group masturbation.
CP: Norma Rae(-dio)

PW’s Jessica Pressler breaks some news about Stephen Starr: No longer content to merely be a part of every major eating experience in this town, he’s also now considering being a part of every major putting-PhillyMag-and-PhillyStyle-out-of-business experience. Huh. We’re down if he is.
Pressler’s Miscellany: Job-Hunting Through A Screen Of Wasabi Fog

Philebrity is off for the day. We’re observing semi-orthodox Xmas.
Come back tomorrow for The Official Philebrity NYE Guide.

>>> Lord Whimsy, hot in the final throes of preparing his Affected Provincial’s Almanack for publication, may not throw his annual Libertines Ball this year. For shame! Developing.
>>> Speaking of whimsy,Lit & Whimsy, PW’s reading series, is looking for readers for its upcoming events at Tritone. The next installment is on Jan. 18, and […]

We always knew we liked Sono Motoyama for a reason. Here, in the midst of one of our first true cold snaps, Sono runs down all the places in town where you can get faced in close proximity to burning wood and warmed whiskey.
DN: Comfort Drinking

Are you like us? Whiling away the hours, properly gearing up for everyone’s favorite descended-from-blackface Philly parade? Practicing your aim pissing in the street? Stocking up on Clifton Shrimps? Doing Google image searches for that Daniel Faulkner tattoo you’re gonna don come New Year’s Day? Yeah, us too.
DN: Drop Down And Get Your Mummer On! […]

Because here’s all the ways it can - and will - most definitely get fucked up.
Inky: Top 10 Ways To Blow A Really Sweet Deal

Dateline: Philly, Dec., 19, 2004
The scene: A quiet city street with lots of parked cars.
The snap: Dude slams into said parked cars, bleeds all over the place while his three buddies vacate the scene, soon to be followed by… dude vacating the scene!
The rub: In the backseat of the perp’s car? A case of Hurricane! […]

And all the while, the rest of the world snickers. Nice job, you fucking losers.
PHILADELPHIA - US Airways started delivering luggage to passengers Sunday after suffering what its chief executive called an “operational meltdown,” while Comair put some of its passenger planes back in the air a day after canceling all of its 1,100 […]

Boy, that John Street cabinet is starting to look like the last reel of that movie Alive. You know the one, right? Where Illeana Douglas’s plane crashes into the mountain and they all get stranded and start eating each other? Man, that would be awesome if they made a movie about City Council like that. […]

I mean, seriously. Philebrity didn’t even know you played for the Iggles until we read it in your obit. Which sort of begs the question, why were we reading your obit in the first place? (We only got into football earlier this year to compensate when the other kids started calling us “gay.”) But […]

It’s Xmas! Get out of here! Even if you’re Jewish, there’s Life Aquatic and Chinese! Get going! Philebrity will be back on Monday.

While the Philebrity tip line (tips@philebrity.com) is dryer than Jocelyn Wildenstein’s hoo-haa, the list of people who keep on scoring with Philebrity just keeps growing. So, without further adieu……
The winner of a lover-ly New Year’s Eve dinner for two at Valanni’s is:
Jackie Mancino
Congrats Jackie and be sure to get the Valanni crew to throw […]