This week, the Philadelphia Weekly’s got a web-only feature that’s after our own hearts: a three-song concert review. Everybody knows that bands should never play for more than 20 minutes; it’s about time somebody just had the nerve to call it and get out while there’s still plenty of drinking time at the bars. That’s [...]

Let’s just let this one speak for itself:
Authorities said the Vaxigrip was contaminated because it apparently had not been kept properly refrigerated.
The contamination - a microbial buildup within the doses - could have resulted in localized infections, cases of the flu, or much more serious bloodstream infections if the vaccine had been administered, said [...]

Apart from it being perhaps one of the most patently uninteresting blogs of all time, there’s no real reason we should be stalking mudane pathos queen Jennifer Weiner so hard. Could it be that, oblivious to things like definition and self-knowledge, she calls it Snarkspot? Maybe we’re simply not satisfied from the three screens currently [...]

>>> Tired of finding a cobra in your matador? A disco in your punk? There may not be much relief at 2ManlyDJs, but at least you’ll be at cozy Aqua, where Kyle Everyday spins punk80snewwavebritpopabstinencejams.
>>> Or: Gear up for the big night tomorrow and stay home. On tonight’s Real World, Tits McGee tries to flip [...]

Oh, just think of it: All those hot chicks and stylish gay men who work in corporate, now entirely hidden from the rest of the city. The effect this is going to have on the Rittenhouse unit of our whole sideline upskirt photography business is going to be just devastating.
Inky: UO To Create “Campus” In [...]

>>> Behold the wonder of the Philadelphia Hot Tub Rentals photo page.
>>> Sigh in appreciation of the fact that South Philly now has its very own Terry Richardson.
>>> Snicker in delight at the Brian Hickey/Brian Howard byline war.

Lesson: The corrupt, backward, back-stabbing, self-hating system we have here is for a reason, kids. It works.
Inky: Barely Containing Glee

Or at least that’s what a new federal complaint is alleging, regarding some serious The Wire-type shit that went down in the Badlands last April. Weirdly, though, it’s the Independent that is pretty much the only journalistic body in town making any noise about it. Dig:
TPI: Very Bad Things

After months and months of promising a new infuriatingly dopey newspaper, former Main Line Times wonk Kevin Williamson has delivered us The Evening Bulletin, which shamefully invokes the newspaper some of us grew up with. But only to Center City. But nevertheless, boy has he come through: Article debating Creationism versus Darwinism? Check.

Errr-body who went to the last Hollertronix got this crazy Diplo/M.I.A. collab. They were on the freeshit table, so we grabbed one, not thinking much. But holy shit, we have not stopped listening to it since. And apparently, neither has some dude at Pitchfork, who sayeth:
On Halloween M.I.A. showed up in Philadelphia for her Fader [...]

Because over the weekend, the bands Cordalene and One Star Hotel both had mad gear jacked from their rehearsal space on South Broad. The list is kind of staggering and awful.
Damn, Damn, Damn: The Gear That Is Gone

Hey, remember that Paper Street/Josh Wink Thanksgiving eve party that we so totally clowned last week? Get this: It was just announced that Tara Reid and Billly Zane are the guests of honor. Totally not shitting you. Well, one thing is for sure; it’s a really good thing that we are such fucking awesometastical ass-kissers. [...]

>>> Giggling over the new most-fowarded corporate blunder in the world, the Target Anal Massage
>>> Wondering about the strange and sublime and dark mysteriousness of the Naked-Lady-At-Making-Time Photo.
>>> Trying to figure out how in the hell we’re gonna get up to Brooklyn to see the secret U2 show today. (Muchos gracias Stereogum.)

But why do all of these women look so scared?
Inquirer Street Style: Brought To You By Talbots!

Oh man, we cannot wait to go to this place.
Says Sono Motoyama:
The food here is on the level of a gay T.G.I. Friday’s
(not necessarily a bad thing, if that’s what you’re in the mood for)
Are you kidding? That is all we are ever in the mood for.

DN: Gayest. Restauraunt. Ever.

A reader writes:
“The following is an approximation of a conversation that took place at Kurt (Lilys) Heasley’s house at 6:30 yesterday evening:
Kurt: So are you guys playing tomorrow?
Quentin (Mazarin): We said we’d do it if Lilys and Matt (Pond PA) play. I never heard back, are you doing it?
Kurt: Yeah, I’m doing it solo. I [...]

Yes, we know what you’re thinking: The city is flinging itself into a full-on anxiety attack, as this is like the 24th center city bombscare this week. Maybe dudes need a visit from you-know-who, dig? (See item above.)
KYW: Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Non-Bombs Here

At which point, Owens then locked himself in his million dollar bathroom, covered face in deep red Chanel lipstick and smeared shit all over the walls. Friends, including Margot Kidder, are said to be rushing to his aid as we speak.
The Post Game: Mandingo Fever! Catch It!

>>> Even though they released their 100 Greatest Philly Albums issue, oh, about 30 weeks ago, the Philly Weekly is having a party for it tonight at the Five Spot, with Mazarin and The Lilys, and lots of noms. Also: Free beer! How’s that for follow-through? (Note to readers: We wanted to link to the [...]

And surprisingly, it’s translated from the Olde English into modern parlance! Progress! Just posted online, the new ish of The Philadelphia Independent also snags a major score in nabbing Ken Kalfus for some group-huggery. Surprise: He talks about Yugoslavia.
TPI: Gawd Help Uzz