No There There: A Reader Gets On The Scene
A cavalier Philebrity reader took it upon himself to get a first-hand report from the 1901 W. Girard Avenue voting poll under scrutiny.
“When I heard it on CNN that this was where it was — in a predominantly black neighborhood — it seemed fishy. So I just went over there, expecting a circus, but really, there was nothing going on there at all. Nothing. Here’s a transcript of what went down:
Reader: Is this where the voting machine stuff went down earlier?
Helper lackey: Talk to that woman. (points to white haired lady clenching a Virginia Slim 100 in her teeth)
White-haired lady: Are you here about the voting machines?
Reader: Yes (in his best investigative reporter voice)
White-haired lady: Nothing happened here. We were opening up and a bunch of Republican lawyers came in looking to stir up controversy.
Reader: Any substance to the claims being made about pre-loaded machines?
White-haired lady: No. And they’re not shutting us down either. (glare of election official rage)
Reader: Thanks for your time.”
Meanwhile, another reader writes in from Fishtown:
“Things are looking good. Turnout is strong and the going is smooth. Change is in the air. To quote Tony Joe White: ‘YOU CAN FEEL IT IN YOUR BONES!’”
We hope, dude, we hope.
Related: Dear GOP: If Channel 6 Is Explaining Something To You, You Must Be Retarded
