Because It Was Tuesday. Because We Must.
10:01PM: “I’m learning about my SEXUAL SELF!” Vonda discovers that it’s high time she started acting like she wasn’t a total ice queen with a thing for lameass white dudes.
10:03 PM: What the hell is MJ’s tattoo hiding? A pentagram? His redneck serial number?
10:04 PM: Jones appears for no reason whatsoever. Melanie: still lame.
10:05 PM: And we’re back at the gay bar.
10:06 PM: Landon: Somebody stick a cock in this guy already. P.S. Willie’s friend Diana The Boy is like the best person on this show, and dude hasn’t uttered a word. Soo pretty.
10:11 PM: Vote Or Die promo with Sway and Diddy. Ashamed of democracy. Again.
10:12 PM: Reveal: “Leo,” Landon’s drunken alter-ego! He’s freaking out Vonda!
10:13 PM: HOLY FUCK! MEL HUNG OUT AT DRINKER’S! BAHAHAHAHA! Holy cow. I just sat on the remote.
10: 14 PM: Tits McGee was bulimic. Shockers. Melanie also unsympathetic.
10:16 PM: Vonda, now afraid of alcohol, sex, black men AND Landon, calls up Jonny Dickweed and begins a slow, funereal grovel.
10:22 PM: Melanie is out of her shit. Too many twizzlers perhaps? Reveals to Sally Boobjob a youth spent in foster care.
10:26 PM: Desperate to nag some schlep, Vonda puts Landon through the ringer for his boozin’. He’s a frigging hayseed fratboy, Vonda. Like he’s gonna do anything else.
10:28 PM: What is going on with the heat in this house? And why is it so ugly?
Next Week: SHAVONNNNNNNNNNN-DAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Related: Our Leo Beats Your Leo
